All I Need . . .

Your starting point for all things satirically tasty and buzz worthy.

Features

Awesome Totally Awesome - How Much Do Rappers Make?

Calling Out The Flex: How Much Do Rappers Really Make

November 9, 2018

Chance the Rapper called out that if we could see the bank accounts of a lot of rappers these days, the numbers would be way lower than we’d expect.

Kamikaze Fallout: Who Took the Biggest L from Eminem

September 26, 2018

The hip-hop community has been torn to shreds by its great white shark, Eminem, these past few weeks with the release of his newest album titled Kamikaze.

Awesome Totally Awesome - Freaks & Weirdos Boutique

ACCEPTANCE: FREAKS AND WEIRDO'S BOUTIQUE

September 14, 2018

Come to the Freaks & Weirdos Boutique at the corner of Route 2 and Willowbrook. Acceptance is just one strange trip away

Uber Chronicles

Brian Kruse is like no one you’ve ever met. He is a learned, sardonic, articulate professor who knows more about music, politics, writing, philosophy, whatever…than you. He is also blind and takes a lot of Uber rides. These are his stories–raw and uncensored.

Pride Day Morning

July 6, 2018/by Brian Kruse

Had a Bad Day…

March 10, 2018/by Brian Kruse

Uber Chronicles: Adventure With Deborah

January 8, 2018/by Brian Kruse

Uber Chronicles: Tuesday Morning Microagression

January 8, 2018/by Brian Kruse

Uber Chronicles: Talking So Well

Awesome Lampoon

LMFAO

Six-Year-Old Disappointed Yet Again by Hipster Uncle’s Gift of Vinyl Records

February 12, 2018

Six-year-old Lindsey Morris was disappointed again this year after receiving a Birthday gift of record albums from her hipster uncle, Connor Butler.

Awesome Totally Awesome - Kanye West Poopity Scoop

Kanye West Launches New Pet Product Line Entitled “Poopity Scoop.”

September 28, 2018

Only a few months after the release of his hit song, “Lift Yourself,” Kanye has announced that he will be creating a line of pet waste scoopers for both cats and dogs.

Wu-Tang Clan and Activision to Collaborate for Call of Duty, 36 Chambers Edition

March 1, 2018

Videogame giant Activision announced that it will be collaborating with the legendary hip hop conglomerate, the Wu Tang Clan (“Wu”) for several upcoming projects, including Call of Duty, 36 Chambers Edition.

Stupid Good-Looking Guy in Office (AKA Slick One-Upper) is Wearing a Bad Brains Shirt and is a Bigger Fan Than You

April 19, 2018

There was tension today when chiseled, blonde, blue-eyed, Newport Beach High/USC alumni, Chase Von Gruber showed up at the monthly after work mixer wearing a Bad Brains, Youth Are Getting Restless, T-shirt.

Steez

You Know My Steez.

Your Grandpa is Copping Supreme x Lacoste in Velour

April 19, 2018

Edward Murphy, a former Beverly Hills Cop turned barber plans on copping the velour bucket hat, track suit, and polo shirt in peach. When shown pictures of the track suit ensemble from Supreme’s online site, Murphy responded “What is that velvet? It’s beautiful.”

Tekashi 6IX9INE Will Look Even More Ridiculous When He Cops The Supreme x Fox Collaboration Dropping Thursday.

May 10, 2018

Tekashi 6IX9INE, the self-proclaimed “King of New York” will look even more ridiculous when he along with all of the other non-motocross riding idiots purchase and start wearing pieces from the Supreme x Fox collection with no motorcycle in sight.

Mother Clips Tags From Son’s Off White Jordans and Subsequently Ruins His Life

July 23, 2018

“It started off well enough,” he lamented. “I mean it actually started off great. On Monday, my birthday, I woke up to a deadstock pair of Off White Jordans from my mom and dad. I thought it was a dream, you know.”

Anti-Kaepernick Sneaker Heads Saying Anything To Avoid Having to Burn Their Nikes

September 7, 2018

In response to Nike’s new Just Do It campaign featuring Colin Kaepernick, anti-Kaepernick supporters around the country began burning their Nike products and posting the images on social media.

Gaming

The 10: Arcade Classics

August 5, 2018

I don't know about you, but growing up in the 80's one of my favorite things to do was go to the arcade on the weekend. I decided to dig into my arcade memories and list 10 of my favorite arcade games from the 80's.

PLAYAAA!69 Proclaims That He Will Never Stop Playing Hanzo

January 8, 2018

Despite constant bullying, Hanzo Main, I.P. Knightley (who plays as PLAYAAA!69), proclaims that he will never stop playing Hanzo, and feels the even when his entire team has already picked their character and there is no healer and no tank on the team, that he must pick Hanzo.

Whitehouse Chief Strategist Resigns Over Trump's Cosplay Obsession With Overwatch's D.va

February 28, 2018

In a shocking development, a newly released memo from President Trump’s twenty-fifth White House Chief Strategist revealed his intentions for resignation, stemming from an incident involving the President’s obsession with the massively popular video game, “Overwatch.”

Awesome Totally Awesome - Spiderman Easter Egg

Love and the Spiderman Easter Egg

October 19, 2018

One instance of what most would assume to be a harmless easter egg turned tragic. This is the story of Tyler Schultz.

Old School Gamer Disappointed by New School Additions to Call Of Duty: World War II

February 12, 2018

Walter Fullmore, 38, of Manitowoc, WI, an avid Call of Duty fan, was ecstatic to hear about the game returning to its roots in World War II. Turns out for Fullmore, he would find himself in a place he did not recognize. The multiplayer.

Middle Aged Man Levels Up To Platinum In Overwatch And No One In His Family Or Peer Group Seems to Care

February 28, 2018

After nearly eight months of grinding it out in Overwatch, (a Blizzard competitive shooter game), Johnny Blaze, a middle aged, laid-off, former sales executive (and Junkrat main) finally leveled up to Platinum.

Awesome Totally Awesome - Castlevania Photo:@zerobriantees

Netflix Castlevania Season 2 Review: Pulls You in By The Neck and Doesn't Let Go

November 9, 2018

As soon as I heard Adi Shankar was creating an animated series based on the beloved Castlevania franchise, I was tuned in and ready to go.

Awesome Totally Awesome Overwatch Worst Players

Top 5 Terrible Players in Overwatch

August 13, 2018

However, there’s always going to be those who pay no mind to what is needed to achieve victory but rather prioritize their own fulfillment of self-gratification. As done to death as this topic may be, here is my list of the top five worst players in Overwatch (in no particular order).

What to Expect From Fallout 76

October 19, 2018

Fallout 76 is not perfect. No Bethesda game is on release. With that being said, there are few bugs that have already been revealed that need to be resolved before the release date.