All I Need . . .

Your starting point for all things satirically tasty and buzz worthy.

Features

Awesome Totally Awesome - Hip hop woke hoax

Hip Hop's Woke Hoax

1 Comment

October 3, 2018

How to Pretend to Be Doing Something With Your Life

September 25, 2018

Life is hard. There are a million choices we could make in our lives that will impact us in ways we can never even imagine.

Digging For Dirt: How Alice In Chains Made Their Ultimate Album

August 17, 2018

Among the truly great heavy metal albums, Alice in Chains' masterpiece Dirt is easily a cut above the rest.

Uber Chronicles

Brian Kruse is like no one you’ve ever met. He is a learned, sardonic, articulate professor who knows more about music, politics, writing, philosophy, whatever…than you. He is also blind and takes a lot of Uber rides. These are his stories–raw and uncensored.

Pride Day Morning

July 6, 2018/by Brian Kruse

Had a Bad Day…

March 10, 2018/by Brian Kruse

Uber Chronicles: Adventure With Deborah

January 8, 2018/by Brian Kruse

Uber Chronicles: Tuesday Morning Microagression

January 8, 2018/by Brian Kruse

Uber Chronicles: Talking So Well

Awesome Lampoon

LMFAO

Girlfriend Has Difficulty Feigning Interest in All the New Bands Boyfriend Discovered at SXSW

March 26, 2018

Awesome Totally Awesome - Todd does Lyft

Todd Gets a Job With Lyft

June 19, 2018

Todd sits in his car, anxiously tapping his fingers on his steering wheel in a rhythmic pattern as he waits for his passenger. He looks at his lit LYFT mustache on his dashboard, humming silently. “Okay, okay,” Todd thinks to himself, “let’s not screw this up.”

Awesome Totally Awesome - Parents with Fortnite Playing Flossing Teen

Parents Around the World are Refusing to Hangout With Their Fortnite Flossing Adolescents

December 20, 2018

In a strange turn of events, parents around the globe are devising any excuse to avoid hanging out (or even be seen) with their Fortnite flossing kids.

Ex-Straight Edge Frontman Hashtags For The First Time And #feelslikeasellout

February 28, 2018

Syd V. Cias, former front man for late ‘90’s straight edge band, “No Fun At All,” recently quit his job as manager of the Tire Center at Costco in Tustin, CA to start an online magazine inspired by all things Ian MacKaye.

Steez

You Know My Steez.

Mother Clips Tags From Son’s Off White Jordans and Subsequently Ruins His Life

July 23, 2018

“It started off well enough,” he lamented. “I mean it actually started off great. On Monday, my birthday, I woke up to a deadstock pair of Off White Jordans from my mom and dad. I thought it was a dream, you know.”

Shia LeBeouf is Not a Normcore Fashion God; Rather, His Style is Influenced by Basic Betches

1 Comment

April 26, 2018

Lil Yachty Has No Idea What A Public Enemy Is, But Plans On Copping All Of The Supreme X Undercover Public Enemy Collection Releasing This Thursday

1 Comment

March 13, 2018

Despite, having no clue who Public Enemy (“PE”) is and having never heard PE’s classic, Fear of a Black Planet, Lil Yachty (“Yachty”), is eager to cop each and every piece of Supreme X UNDERCOVER’S Public Enemy collection.

Kicks We Like: Nike Lunar Force 1 Duckboot Low

February 12, 2018

I grew up dealing with sub-zero winters in Canada, so when it comes to outdoor gear, I’m down with whatever keeps me the warmest. If I had money in my pocket to spend, my first choices would be Timberland and North Face.

Gaming

Nerding Out: Jump Force-Which Character Would Win in a Fight

November 8, 2018

Awaiting the release of Jump Force, a fighting game one can only hope and pray will become competitive, I thought it would be fun to review the announced character list.

Fallout 4 Addict Arrested After Breaking Into A Local Man’s Basement Survival Shelter

February 28, 2018

Fallout 4 addict, Michael Hunt was arrested this morning for several counts of burglary after breaking into a local man’s (survivalist Red Knect) basement survival shelter.

Middle Aged Man Levels Up To Platinum In Overwatch And No One In His Family Or Peer Group Seems to Care

February 28, 2018

After nearly eight months of grinding it out in Overwatch, (a Blizzard competitive shooter game), Johnny Blaze, a middle aged, laid-off, former sales executive (and Junkrat main) finally leveled up to Platinum.

What to Expect From Fallout 76

October 19, 2018

Fallout 76 is not perfect. No Bethesda game is on release. With that being said, there are few bugs that have already been revealed that need to be resolved before the release date.

Whitehouse Chief Strategist Resigns Over Trump's Cosplay Obsession With Overwatch's D.va

February 28, 2018

In a shocking development, a newly released memo from President Trump’s twenty-fifth White House Chief Strategist revealed his intentions for resignation, stemming from an incident involving the President’s obsession with the massively popular video game, “Overwatch.”

Awesome Totally Awesome - Assasin's Greed

Assassin's Greed: Did Ubisoft Intentionally Make Assassin's Creed Odyssey So Difficult That You Have to Buy Your Way To Completion

November 9, 2018

Whether you're slashing through hordes of enemies with a sword or gunning down waves of mutated zombies with a machine gun, it's all part of the grind.

Old School Gamer Disappointed by New School Additions to Call Of Duty: World War II

February 12, 2018

Walter Fullmore, 38, of Manitowoc, WI, an avid Call of Duty fan, was ecstatic to hear about the game returning to its roots in World War II. Turns out for Fullmore, he would find himself in a place he did not recognize. The multiplayer.

A Fortnite Love Story

July 6, 2018

Todd stands in front of his hotel’s bathroom mirror. He’s sweating profusely as he bonds his fake, blonde goatee onto his chin. This, doubled with his blonde, platinum-dyed hair makes him look completely different. He takes a deep breath as he begins...

Gaming Mods

November 9, 2018

Video games and mods have gone hand and hand since conception. Players have always wanted to find backdoors and spread their own creativity into the games they love so much.