SATIRE: (Noun) The Use of Humor, Irony, Exaggeration, or Ridicule
To Expose or Criticize People’s Stupidity or Vices…
-NEW OXFORD AMERICAN DICTIONARY
Don’t Sell Yourself Short Judge–You’re a Tremendous Slouch.
-Ty Webb, Caddyshack
SHAQUILLE O’NEAL, BEN WALLACE, DEANDRE JORDAN, AND ANDRE DRUMMOND filed a joint lawsuit in Federal District Court against author Malcolm Gladwell
It felt like High Snobiety was really reaching to make a point that Hill had become a fashion guru just for his taste in random ink display. When really, if you boil it down—the dude just owns tye dye shirts. He probably thinks they’re funny, a bit ironic, but most importantly: comfortable as hell.
Mother of nineteen-year-old Instagram influencer, 99Problem5Butmykiksaint1 (Maynard Marnywood) walked in on her son licking his Jordans. “My baby Maynard…Oh gawd, I can’t unsee what I just saw,”
St Louis resident Jayme Stabb, also known as Jaime Siedrech, was honored with the Most Punk Rock Nurse Award by the staff of St Cornelius Hospital in Cotteville, Missouri.
Todd sits in his car, anxiously tapping his fingers on his steering wheel in a rhythmic pattern as he waits for his passenger. He looks at his lit LYFT mustache on his dashboard, humming silently. “Okay, okay,” Todd thinks to himself, “let’s not screw this up.”
Alexander Ovechkin (“Ovi”) told ATA that as a result of such win he was “Overwhelmed and honored at the possibility of being the 1000thspecially invited Russian VIP to meet with President Trump at the White House this year.”
For the past decade, I think, or at least a long time (like five years), marijuana advocates around the country have attempted to rally together to petition the man to make 4/20 a national holiday.
Todd sits in the bathroom stall at work. He frantically combs his fingers through his hair and begins to pull at it. The beads of sweat pouring down from his forehead are only offset by his eyelids that are blinking a million times a second.
Despite constant bullying, Hanzo Main, I.P. Knightley (who plays as PLAYAAA!69), proclaims that he will never stop playing Hanzo, and feels the even when his entire team has already picked their character and there is no healer and no tank on the team, that he must pick Hanzo.
Let’s face it, no parent ever wants to admit it: their child grew up to be a serial killer. But, hey, it happens. A very small percentage of the population become serial killers, those are the facts. So, fess up, parents. Is your child exhibiting signs? Here’s an unscientific guide by which to tell.
According to Muir, “All I wanted was a basic, durable, no bullshit watch, like my old Casio, but with an Institutionalized ring tone and THEY WOULDN’T GIVE IT TO ME.”
I learned to just play it cool and slip in comments like ‘I just made a killing on Litecoin yesterday. It went up 500% percent between the time we got here and lunch. Who has two thumbs and is going to Monaco to hang with Beyonce this summer…This guy.’ See, so smooth, I should be called ‘Butter.’”
In a shocking development, a newly released memo from President Trump’s twenty-fifth White House Chief Strategist revealed his intentions for resignation, stemming from an incident involving the President’s obsession with the massively popular video game, “Overwatch.”
Todd stands in front of his hotel’s bathroom mirror. He’s sweating profusely as he bonds his fake, blonde goatee onto his chin. This, doubled with his blonde, platinum-dyed hair makes him look completely different. He takes a deep breath as he begins…
“I hope you don’t look up to her,” my mother scoffed from our kitchen. I don’t remember what my hero had done now to solicit that comment, but I responded with a halfhearted “I don’t.
Ashley Handy, filing clerk for local law firm Dewey Schrougham & Howe alleges that she has been bullied, maligned, and routinely left with the raisin bagel after refusing to participate in the firm’s annual secret Santa exchange.
Syd V. Cias, former front man for late ‘90’s straight edge band, “No Fun At All,” recently quit his job as manager of the Tire Center at Costco in Tustin, CA to start an online magazine inspired by all things Ian MacKaye.
Videogame giant Activision announced that it will be collaborating with the legendary hip hop conglomerate, the Wu Tang Clan (“Wu”) for several upcoming projects, including Call of Duty, 36 Chambers Edition.
For those of you who cannot afford Supreme gear at retail, let alone aftermarket pricing, Supreme will soon be offering a budget line called Supreme Market, featuring items conveniently priced below $40.00.
Just a few weeks before the now postponed Canelo Alvarez (“Canelo”) v Gennady Golovkin (“GGG”) super fight rematch, Canelo tested positive for Clenbuterol (a banned substance) in two separate tests. In his defense, Canelo stated that the positive test results were caused by eating tainted Mexican meat during his training for the fight in Guadalajara.
I should open with the following statement: I know nothing about high fashion. But I do know the difference between something aesthetically pleasing tickling my photoreceptors from an outfit that makes me think “What’s going on here?!”
Thirty-eight year-old Chad Swampf, an English professor in the suburbs of Chicago, finds himself getting very excited this time of the year as the upcoming NCAA College Basketball Tournament as well as the beginning of Major League Baseball season provides him with several opportunities to inform complete strangers that he is not into sports at all.
Repeat college sophomore, Jesse Hammerstein, stated in a Facebook post Wednesday that he’s looking forward to “getting really f*d up this year at Lollapalooza after finishing my summer classes and graduating from my sophomore year at college #oxysbro #success.”
It’s been a rough few months for Chance the Rapper. After seeming like he could do nothing wrong, he seems to be taking misstep after misstep. After claiming on an Instagram live feed, “Everybody knows I brought Supreme back,” he was subsequently ruined on Twitter.
Upon the announcement that Supreme will be dropping its highly anticipated Supreme x Rimowa aluminum luggage collection, baggage handlers around the world began honing their sledgehammers and practicing their elbow drops in anticipation of completely annihilating each and every piece of this collection that makes its way into their possession.
Tekashi 6IX9INE, the self-proclaimed “King of New York” will look even more ridiculous when he along with all of the other non-motocross riding idiots purchase and start wearing pieces from the Supreme x Fox collection with no motorcycle in sight.
Fallout 4 addict, Michael Hunt was arrested this morning for several counts of burglary after breaking into a local man’s (survivalist Red Knect) basement survival shelter.
Legendary Oklahoma-based psychedelic rock band the Flaming Lips have announced that their unusual Record Store Day release for 2018 is going to be a 7-inch vinyl pressed entirely from band members’ collective ear wax.
Six-year-old Lindsey Morris was disappointed again this year after receiving a Birthday gift of record albums from her hipster uncle, Connor Butler.
Walter Fullmore, 38, of Manitowoc, WI, an avid Call of Duty fan, was ecstatic to hear about the game returning to its roots in World War II. Turns out for Fullmore, he would find himself in a place he did not recognize. The multiplayer.
After nearly eight months of grinding it out in Overwatch, (a Blizzard competitive shooter game), Johnny Blaze, a middle aged, laid-off, former sales executive (and Junkrat main) finally leveled up to Platinum.