Fiction

WELL I’LL TELL YOU STU, I DID BATTLE SOME HUMONGOUS WAVES.

BUT YOU KNOW, JUST LIKE I TOLD THE GUY ON ABC,

“DANGER IS MY BUSINESS.” – JEFF SPICOLI

ThE WooD BoX At 11 BRooKlYn RoAd

October 23, 2018

The house was of an unremarkable style, square and plain. It sat on a lot surrounded by tall woods...As Alison waited for someone to answer, she glanced at the wood box.

How Maria Beat The Real Housewives of the PTA at Their Own Game

August 5, 2018

I really didn’t care about winning, but seeing this lady’s cheerleader determination, made me say “I’m winning this mofo.”

Awesome Totally Awesome - Pee Smelling Murderer

How I Became a Pee Smelling Murderer With a Job Offer From an Aspiring Pimp

October 19, 2018

I had just graduated from college and was waiting for a life-changing job offer. In fact, any job offer would have been nice.

Awesome Totally Awesome - Todd does Lyft

Todd Gets a Job With Lyft

June 19, 2018

Todd sits in his car, anxiously tapping his fingers on his steering wheel in a rhythmic pattern as he waits for his passenger. He looks at his lit LYFT mustache on his dashboard, humming silently. “Okay, okay,” Todd thinks to himself, “let’s not screw this up.”

Fucking Eh

February 1, 2018

I had just arrived in Paris after spending the past five weeks in Angola managing some offshore drilling rigs. Shitty job. After laying down the rules, I got some pushback from the locals. Not a surprise. Typical work politics down there.

How I Became a Pee Smelling Murderer With a Job Offer From an Aspiring Pimp

October 19, 2018

I had just graduated from college and was waiting for a life-changing job offer. In fact, any job offer would have been nice.

ThE WooD BoX At 11 BRooKlYn RoAd

October 23, 2018

The house was of an unremarkable style, square and plain. It sat on a lot surrounded by tall woods...As Alison waited for someone to answer, she glanced at the wood box.

SOMETHING PROFOUND

1 Comment

January 11, 2018

It's the reason why people sit through funerals, attend weddings, wait expectantly outside delivery rooms—that unnamable presence that accompanies death and birth and the consummation of love. They're all hoping for a glimpse at the infinite. They're all looking for something profound.

Awesome Totally Awesome - Freaks & Weirdos Boutique

ACCEPTANCE: FREAKS AND WEIRDO'S BOUTIQUE

September 14, 2018

Come to the Freaks & Weirdos Boutique at the corner of Route 2 and Willowbrook. Acceptance is just one strange trip away

Tinder Tales

February 12, 2018

Todd sits nervously in his chair, reading the Italian menu sitting in his sweaty palms. He’s berating himself internally for choosing this place, he doesn’t know how to read or speak Italian.

Todd Sends a Dick Pic

June 7, 2018

Todd sits in the bathroom stall at work. He frantically combs his fingers through his hair and begins to pull at it. The beads of sweat pouring down from his forehead are only offset by his eyelids that are blinking a million times a second.

How Maria Beat The Real Housewives of the PTA at Their Own Game

August 5, 2018

I really didn’t care about winning, but seeing this lady’s cheerleader determination, made me say “I’m winning this mofo.”

A Fortnite Love Story

July 6, 2018

Todd stands in front of his hotel’s bathroom mirror. He’s sweating profusely as he bonds his fake, blonde goatee onto his chin. This, doubled with his blonde, platinum-dyed hair makes him look completely different. He takes a deep breath as he begins...

The Mark

July 6, 2018

Mark’s eyes widen, and he gets out of bed, opens the closet, then pulls down on the coat hanger in the back. The clothing rack drops into the floor and the back wall of the closet opens.

Wu-Tang Clan and Activision to Collaborate for Call of Duty, 36 Chambers Edition

March 1, 2018

Videogame giant Activision announced that it will be collaborating with the legendary hip hop conglomerate, the Wu Tang Clan (“Wu”) for several upcoming projects, including Call of Duty, 36 Chambers Edition.

Awesome Dropping

“There Is A God,” Claim Millions of Atheists After Hearing the News That Bono Lost His Voice

September 4, 2018

Upon the news that Bono completely lost his voice, partway through U2’s performance in Berlin Saturday, atheists around the world began to seriously question their worldview.

Awesome Totally Awesome - Metallica Live

Why Doesn't Metallica Play More Underrated Songs Live?

October 3, 2018

Metallica has been around for more than 33 years, touring quite a bit. With that comes the fact they tend to play the same songs live. Over and Over.

Maple Leafs Move With the Times in Hiring Wickenheiser The GOAT of Women's Hockey

September 6, 2018

The Toronto Maple Leafs announced that they hired Canadian Olympian and gold medalist Hayley Wickenheiser as Assistant Director of Player Development on Thursday August 23, 2018.

Awesome Totally Awesome Slayer Reign in Blood

Making "Reign in Blood" — Slayer's Timeless Classic

October 3, 2018

1986 saw Slayer's masterpiece "Reign in Blood" become the standard-bearer as one of the greatest thrash albums of all time.

Awesome Totally Awesome - Slayer Final World Tour 2018

Pho King Slayer

1 Comment

May 4, 2018

Slayer is starting their final tour ever, which means their final tour until they decide they need another couple of million in the bank, at which point they’ll have a reunion tour. Nevertheless, assuming this is the end, it’s also the end of one of the greatest cathartic battle cries ever: F***ING SLAYERRRRR!!!

Alfonso Rawls EverybodySkates Awesome Totally Awesome

SHINE: ATA’s INTERVIEW WITH SKATEBOARDING ICON ALPHONSO “ALF” RAWLS ON SKATING, HIS STREETWEAR COMPANY #EVERYBODY SKATES, AND HIS ART

May 10, 2018

Our latest Shine subject is Alfonso "ALF" Rawls. ALF is a skateboarding legend and really good soul who can still rip everything with freaky styley style.

Fiction

ThE WooD BoX At 11 BRooKlYn RoAd

How Maria Beat The Real Housewives of the PTA at Their Own Game

How I Became a Pee Smelling Murderer With a Job Offer From an Aspiring Pimp

Todd Gets a Job With Lyft

Fucking Eh

How I Became a Pee Smelling Murderer With a Job Offer From an Aspiring Pimp

ThE WooD BoX At 11 BRooKlYn RoAd

SOMETHING PROFOUND

ACCEPTANCE: FREAKS AND WEIRDO'S BOUTIQUE

Tinder Tales

Todd Sends a Dick Pic

How Maria Beat The Real Housewives of the PTA at Their Own Game

A Fortnite Love Story

The Mark

Wu-Tang Clan and Activision to Collaborate for Call of Duty, 36 Chambers Edition

Awesome Dropping

“There Is A God,” Claim Millions of Atheists After Hearing the News That Bono Lost His Voice

Why Doesn't Metallica Play More Underrated Songs Live?

Maple Leafs Move With the Times in Hiring Wickenheiser The GOAT of Women's Hockey

Awesome Features

Making "Reign in Blood" — Slayer's Timeless Classic

Pho King Slayer

SHINE: ATA’s INTERVIEW WITH SKATEBOARDING ICON ALPHONSO “ALF” RAWLS ON SKATING, HIS STREETWEAR COMPANY #EVERYBODY SKATES, AND HIS ART

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Gotta Love Dom: The Underrated Rapper has Built a Cult Following Without Selling Out

Why Lupe Fiasco is Still My Favorite Rapper?

Make Way for Megan Thee Stallion

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Fiction

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