Fiction

WELL I’LL TELL YOU STU, I DID BATTLE SOME HUMONGOUS WAVES.

BUT YOU KNOW, JUST LIKE I TOLD THE GUY ON ABC,

“DANGER IS MY BUSINESS.” – JEFF SPICOLI

Awesome Totally Awesome - Freaks & Weirdos Boutique

ACCEPTANCE: FREAKS AND WEIRDO'S BOUTIQUE

September 14, 2018

Come to the Freaks & Weirdos Boutique at the corner of Route 2 and Willowbrook. Acceptance is just one strange trip away

Fucking Eh

February 1, 2018

I had just arrived in Paris after spending the past five weeks in Angola managing some offshore drilling rigs. Shitty job. After laying down the rules, I got some pushback from the locals. Not a surprise. Typical work politics down there.

Awesome Totally Awesome - Pee Smelling Murderer

How I Became a Pee Smelling Murderer With a Job Offer From an Aspiring Pimp

October 19, 2018

I had just graduated from college and was waiting for a life-changing job offer. In fact, any job offer would have been nice.

ACCEPTANCE: FREAKS AND WEIRDO'S BOUTIQUE

September 14, 2018

Come to the Freaks & Weirdos Boutique at the corner of Route 2 and Willowbrook. Acceptance is just one strange trip away

ThE WooD BoX At 11 BRooKlYn RoAd

October 23, 2018

The house was of an unremarkable style, square and plain. It sat on a lot surrounded by tall woods...As Alison waited for someone to answer, she glanced at the wood box.

Wu-Tang Clan and Activision to Collaborate for Call of Duty, 36 Chambers Edition

March 1, 2018

Videogame giant Activision announced that it will be collaborating with the legendary hip hop conglomerate, the Wu Tang Clan (“Wu”) for several upcoming projects, including Call of Duty, 36 Chambers Edition.

SOMETHING PROFOUND

1 Comment

January 11, 2018

It's the reason why people sit through funerals, attend weddings, wait expectantly outside delivery rooms—that unnamable presence that accompanies death and birth and the consummation of love. They're all hoping for a glimpse at the infinite. They're all looking for something profound.

Tinder Tales

February 12, 2018

Todd sits nervously in his chair, reading the Italian menu sitting in his sweaty palms. He’s berating himself internally for choosing this place, he doesn’t know how to read or speak Italian.

The Mark

July 6, 2018

Mark’s eyes widen, and he gets out of bed, opens the closet, then pulls down on the coat hanger in the back. The clothing rack drops into the floor and the back wall of the closet opens.

Fucking Eh

February 1, 2018

How I Became a Pee Smelling Murderer With a Job Offer From an Aspiring Pimp

October 19, 2018

I had just graduated from college and was waiting for a life-changing job offer. In fact, any job offer would have been nice.

Todd Sends a Dick Pic

June 7, 2018

Todd sits in the bathroom stall at work. He frantically combs his fingers through his hair and begins to pull at it. The beads of sweat pouring down from his forehead are only offset by his eyelids that are blinking a million times a second.

Awesome Totally Awesome - Todd does Lyft

Todd Gets a Job With Lyft

June 19, 2018

Todd sits in his car, anxiously tapping his fingers on his steering wheel in a rhythmic pattern as he waits for his passenger. He looks at his lit LYFT mustache on his dashboard, humming silently. “Okay, okay,” Todd thinks to himself, “let’s not screw this up.”

A Fortnite Love Story

July 6, 2018

Todd stands in front of his hotel’s bathroom mirror. He’s sweating profusely as he bonds his fake, blonde goatee onto his chin. This, doubled with his blonde, platinum-dyed hair makes him look completely different. He takes a deep breath as he begins...

How Maria Beat The Real Housewives of the PTA at Their Own Game

August 5, 2018

I really didn’t care about winning, but seeing this lady’s cheerleader determination, made me say “I’m winning this mofo.”

Awesome Dropping

Five Best Ozzy Osbourne Songs with Randy Rhoads

October 4, 2018

Randy Rhoads’ time in the spotlight as Ozzy Osbourne’s guitarist was oh so brief, but in the two records he recorded with the former Black Sabbath frontman, Rhoads left an indelible impact.

Venom, Suicide Squad, and the Rated R Risk: PG 13 Isn't Cutting It

November 8, 2018

Venom has problems. A startling criticism of a superhero movie rooted in the MCU but nonetheless an accurate one.

Four-Pins

Legit Check 101 Supreme: Box Logo Hoodies

September 13, 2018

The Supreme Box Logo (“BOGO”) Hoodie is one of the most iconic and sought Supreme pieces year in and year out. We’re here to provide you with a basic checklist that should apply to any BOGO Hoodie within the past 10 years.

Kamikaze Fallout: Who Took the Biggest L from Eminem

September 26, 2018

The hip-hop community has been torn to shreds by its great white shark, Eminem, these past few weeks with the release of his newest album titled Kamikaze.

Why Phil Kessel Is Awesome (And Why You Should Think So Too)

February 28, 2018

Phil Kessel beat cancer during his rookie season and went on to become a five time thirty goal scorer and two time Stanley Cup Champion on his own terms. In spite of being one of the most prolific goal scorers of his generation, Phil has been oft maligned, bullied, and minimized by the press, the fans, the NHL, and even his peers.

Awesome Totally Awesome - Stacy Kohut FOURLIFE

Stacy Kohut Interview: Four Wheels + For Life = FOURLIFE

July 16, 2018

I try to get 5 or 6 runs in the morning, then 5 or 6 runs after lunch. Its important to me to feel like I've put in the work, 'punched in' for the shift, when I ride. Makes the day have some more importance and meaning. A purpose if you will.

Awesome Totally Awesome Replaced My Bumper

I Replaced My Bumper: A Tale of Avoiding Trendy Plastic Surgery

September 6, 2018

My formative teen years did not involve the ever-present smartphone of today, but the media still found ways of consistently feeding me the image of “the perfect body.”

How Jane's Addiction's Nothing's Shocking Almost Did Not Get Recorded

February 27, 2018

One of the most significant albums of the 1980s, Jane's Addiction's seminal Nothing's Shocking, almost didn't get recorded. While the album turned out to be so influential to alternative music and the beginnings of grunge, the band that went into LA's Eldorado Studio to record it nearly broke up during production.

Utterly Bias and Unscholarly (But True) Study Reveals That Autotune is Like a Drug to Millennials

August 9, 2018

A recent study from ATA’s own DTK (Drink the KoolAid) laboratory, revealed that Millennials and Post Millennials alike are genetically predisposed to become addicted to Autotune.

Fiction

ACCEPTANCE: FREAKS AND WEIRDO'S BOUTIQUE

Fucking Eh

How I Became a Pee Smelling Murderer With a Job Offer From an Aspiring Pimp

ACCEPTANCE: FREAKS AND WEIRDO'S BOUTIQUE

ThE WooD BoX At 11 BRooKlYn RoAd

Wu-Tang Clan and Activision to Collaborate for Call of Duty, 36 Chambers Edition

SOMETHING PROFOUND

Tinder Tales

The Mark

Fucking Eh

How I Became a Pee Smelling Murderer With a Job Offer From an Aspiring Pimp

Todd Sends a Dick Pic

Todd Gets a Job With Lyft

A Fortnite Love Story

How Maria Beat The Real Housewives of the PTA at Their Own Game

Awesome Dropping

Five Best Ozzy Osbourne Songs with Randy Rhoads

Venom, Suicide Squad, and the Rated R Risk: PG 13 Isn't Cutting It

Legit Check 101 Supreme: Box Logo Hoodies

Awesome Features

Kamikaze Fallout: Who Took the Biggest L from Eminem

Why Phil Kessel Is Awesome (And Why You Should Think So Too)

Stacy Kohut Interview: Four Wheels + For Life = FOURLIFE

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I Replaced My Bumper: A Tale of Avoiding Trendy Plastic Surgery

How Jane's Addiction's Nothing's Shocking Almost Did Not Get Recorded

Utterly Bias and Unscholarly (But True) Study Reveals That Autotune is Like a Drug to Millennials

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