Canelo Alvarez Wasn’t Lying: We Have Exclusive Pictures of the Roided Out Cows He Ate

Just a few weeks before the now postponed Canelo Alvarez (“Canelo”) v Gennady Golovkin (“GGG”) super fight rematch, Canelo tested positive for Clenbuterol (a banned substance) in two separate tests. In his defense, Canelo stated that the positive test results were caused by eating tainted Mexican meat during his training for the fight in Guadalajara.

GGG mocked Canelo as liar, claiming to USA Today’s Martin Rogers that:

“Canelo’s team are using these drugs and everybody’s trying to pretend it’s not happening. This guy, he knows. This is not his first day in boxing. He proves he gets benefits from everyone and he can get away with it. The commentators, commission, doping commission—this is a very bad business, [it’s] not sport. Check him on a lie detector and then we can find out everything.”

In response, Canelo whinnied “I’m gonna kick your fucking ass…[neigh]…little bitch.”

Canelo has subsequently withdrawn from the match and recently received a six month ban from the Nevada State Athletic Commission.

However…

ATA travelled to the suspected cow farm in Guadalajara and was able to secure these shocking photos of the tainted cows (below) who were straight yolked like Swartzeneggar.

When compared with the average middle class American cows (in the headline picture), there is simply no comparison.  The Mexican cows are ‘roided out freaks of nature.  No wonder the carne asada is so much better in Mexico.

No wonder Canelo, couldn’t resist buttery goodness of a ‘roided out Mexican steak.  Who could?

At ATA, we’re no scientists, but like other news agencies, we sure pretend to be.   So putting on our scientific picture comparing hats, it would appear that the Mexican cows were either doing cross-fit since they were calves or they were indeed ‘roided out like Canelo said.

We were able to catch up with promoter Oscar De La Hoya and asked him to compare the pictures to see if he would reach the same conclusions we did.

Unfortunately, De La Hoya became defensive and stated, “Ohhhh no, I know where you’re going with this.  Those fishnet pictures are old news…Oh God, I wish I still had that ass though.  Too many chicharrones…mmmmmmmchicarrones…”

He then ran away and did not finish the interview…Kind of like the last few rounds of the Felix Trinidad fight.