Awesome Totally Awesome - Riotfest 2018

Man Who Didn’t Get Riot Fest Tickets Tries Convincing Anyone Who’ll Listen the Line-Up Isn’t That Good

Thirty-eight-year-old Dennis Skimler has taken to social media as well as personal interactions to inform the public that this year’s Riot Fest line-up is just not that good. In a Facebook post Wednesday, Skimler wrote, “Looking at the less-than-stellar line-up for this year’s Riot Fest, I’m totally glad I didn’t waste money on tickets this time.

The few good bands, I’ve already seen before. Like the Jesus Lizard? I just saw them twelve years ago when they reunited the last time. I mean, they’re definitely the most intense live band of the last thirty years merging heavy metal, progressive rock, and jazz with one of the most unique vocalists in rock history, but how often can you witness that before it gets boring?

And how many times can you watch Blondie perform those same old catchy classics like ‘Call Me’, ‘Heart of Glass,’ ‘One Way or Another’, ‘Rapture’, and ‘The Tide Is High’ over and over again?”

Later in the comment thread, Skimler even went on to attack Rock & Roll Hall of Famer Jerry Lee Lewis who will be performing at the festival held in Chicago this September. “The dude is pushing 82. I’m sure it’s not as cool as if you got to see him in 1957 when he was at the top of his game. I’m sure seeing him now would just be sad. Who wants to see one of the two last remaining legendary founders of Rock & Roll when they’re old?”

But Skimler’s life-long friend, Roger Stowe feels that Skimler’s attitude is more influenced by his wife Jane’s not allowing him to buy tickets this year than any feelings he may have about the roster. “I know for a fact that Dennis loves Father John Misty, Beck, and Liz Phair. There is no way he wouldn’t be psyched to see them if he was able to go to Riot Fest.”

When reached for comment, the Skimlers both disputed this claim. Dennis stated, “At first I was kind of annoyed when Jane said we shouldn’t spend the money or the time on my going to Riot Fest this year, because it was time I grew up and stopped going to these concerts like I’m some kind of teenager. But really, I’m pretty happy that she put her foot down; I’m sure that I don’t want to see Cat Power, Cypress Hill, and Bad Religion again anyway.”

Jane followed up Dennis’s statement acknowledging that they would be attending concerts this year as a couple, which would be exciting for all involved. “Me and the girls from work are going to see Sister Hazel, and I’m going to let Dennis come along for that. And he’s also going to accompany me to the Barenaked Ladies concert for our anniversary. So, it’s not like I’m not telling him he can’t enjoy music or something.”

Skimler went on to say he’s pretty sure that Sister Hazel and Barenaked Ladies will be better than anything at Riot Fest anyway. “BNL write really quirky and funny songs and the one guy even raps, so there is a hip hop element to what they’re doing. And I’ve been revisiting the Hazels and they’re very much like a less-funky Blues Traveler.”

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