“There Is A God,” Claim Millions of Atheists After Hearing the News That Bono Lost His Voice

Upon the news that Bono completely lost his voice partway through U2’s performance in Berlin Saturday atheists around the world began to seriously question their worldview.

Sources confirm that it appears that millions of atheists around the world had the same test prayer: “God if you are real, please cause Bono to lose his voice.”

Most atheists had no idea how to celebrate in a godly manner. However, it was reported that a group of Northern California atheists had brief celebrations where they began listening to Gwar, drew pentagrams, smoked bong rips, and drank craft beer; but then thought better.  Thereafter they circled up, held hands, claimed, “Woooooooo,” like Rick Flair, and prepared to burn all of their Nietzsche books.

After the celebration, many became introspective and confused.  Said one Bono hater, “I began wondering if my brief joy of Bono losing his voice was actually a trick by God or even Satan to convert me into a Trump supporter, either saving me or damning me to Hell for eternity.  This is indeed Hell on earth.  Life was so much simpler before my prayers were answered.”

The atheist conversions were temporal. It was later reported that Bono’s voice would make a full and complete recovery, causing converted atheists to again proclaim, “There is bono God.”