Awesome Totally Awesome - Food and Sex

Food and Sex: The Way to a Man’s Heart (Duh)

Let’s face it, the two things guys need to live are food and sex. To that end, our complex, yet feeble minds can be satisfied in a variety of ways involving both. The old adage, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” could not be more accurate(although, a detour through the crotch is always welcome). Think about it, the start of almost every relationship revolves around food. Dinner dates, lunch dates, popcorn at the movies and the awkward morning after breakfast or what I call the, “It wasn’t any good, but at least it didn’t take long” apology breakfast are all part of creating a romantic bond. No matter the situation, the right food in the right place can make or break your chances of becoming a happy couple.

The dinner date may be the most popular outing among people who still believe that you can’t fall in love via text and a few well-placed emojis.

Think about how important your choice of location and meal can be… Guys, this one is directed towards you; fast food is only an option after your significant other is used to you disappointing her, so wait until your one year anniversary to take her to a place where everything you order is wrapped in paper.

Take her to a nice restaurant and show her you care by wearing a shirt with at least three buttons. Remember that money is no object, until later (refer to disappointment comment above).

Ladies, for the love of VISA, take it a little easy on us. We don’t mind if you order the lobster, but if you eat a third of it and get a box, so you can take the rest home to your cat, then we should have just opened a can of tuna and dumped it in a bowl for you. No matter what you might think, a guy likes a woman who can clean her plate. If you want to eat like a bird, let that bird be of the pterodactyl variety.

Steak, chicken, seafood and pasta are all acceptable to order on a dinner date whether you’re a man or a woman. Asking for a vegetarian alternative doesn’t make anyone look good. That cow, fish, chicken and whatever animal pasta comes from died so you could enjoy a nice meal. Don’t insult them by eating salad.

Unlike the dinner date, the lunch date isn’t a high-pressure situation. Generally, we only have a short time to stuff our faces and still maintain a small amount of dignity. A sandwich and yes, even a salad is perfectly acceptable cuisine for this sprint of a date. The only tricky part is navigating conversation in between bites. Whatever your topic of conversation is, it can wait until you’ve swallowed your food.

I’d rather not hear about your job, family or future plans while dodging a barrage of partially chewed lettuce. Soup is also a good idea because it goes down easy and that is always a quality I look for in a date. We won’t even get into the breakfast date, but suffice it to say, Cheerios are never a romantic gesture, even if they’re honey nut. I can’t speak intelligently on the breakfast date, because I refuse to pay the extra my dates would charge to spend the night.

In conclusion, food goes hand in hand with romance, so choose your fare with the same discretion that you choose your mate. That being said, it’s always acceptable to eat alone, but if you decide to be romantic alone, try not to do it at your favorite restaurant. There are health codes, you know!

Awesome Totally Awesome - Freaks & Weirdos Boutique
ATA - DTK

Awesome Dropping

Awesome Totally Awesome - Hello 90's

Hello 90’s, Goodbye Dignity

Grab onto your laces as we dive deeper into the confusing vortex of how these style mishaps from decades past are once again terrorizing our streets.
Awesome Totally Awesome - How Much Do Rappers Make?

Calling Out The Flex: How Much Do Rappers Really Make

Chance the Rapper called out that if we could see the bank accounts of a lot of rappers these days, the numbers would be way lower than we’d expect.
Awesome Totally Awesome - WooD BoX

ThE WooD BoX At 11 BRooKlYn RoAd

The house was of an unremarkable style, square and plain. It sat on a lot surrounded by tall woods...As Alison waited for someone to answer, she glanced at the wood box.

Awesome Features

Awesome Totally Awesome Beastie Boys Check Your Head

Why Check Your Head By the Beasties Will Always Be My Favorite Album

Check Your Head was named after a random occurrence wherein Ad Rock had purchased a pack of Desert Storm trading cards and brought them to the studio. 
Awesome Totally Awesome - LookBook Winter 2018

Cop Our Merch: ATA DTK Freaks & Weirdos Boutique Lookbook Volume 1

Awesome Totally Awesome - Freaks & Weirdos Boutique Lookbook Volume 1 Winter 2018

Shut The Fuck Up Apple Cheddar Pie

This Awesome Totally Awesome recipe comes from Chef Vanessa Rosenspies formerly the head Pastry Chef at Model Milk one of Canada’s most celebrated restaurants in Calgary, Alberta, Canada.

Awesome Trending

Awesome Totally Awesome - Utterly Bias

Utterly Bias and Unscholarly (But True) Study Reveals That Autotune is Like a Drug to Millennials

A recent study from ATA’s own DTK (Drink the KoolAid) laboratory, revealed that Millennials and Post Millennials alike are genetically predisposed to become addicted to Autotune.
Awesome Totally Awesome - Refused

Reviewing Refused - The Shape of Punk to Come’s and Its Precognition

In 1998, the Swedish punk band Refused released an album so influential that its fans and bands alike would guide the Invisible Hand of fandom.
Awesome Totally Awesome - Parents with Fortnite Playing Flossing Teen

Parents Around the World are Refusing to Hangout With Their Fortnite Flossing Adolescents

In a strange turn of events, parents around the globe are devising any excuse to avoid hanging out (or even be seen) with their Fortnite flossing kids.