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Girlfriend Has Difficulty Feigning Interest in All the New Bands Boyfriend Discovered at SXSW

By: Brian Kruse

Late March is always a difficult time for Northwest Indiana resident Gina Carvo. It is this time of year when her boyfriend of fourteen years, Guy (which he pronounces “Guee”) Luetterson, returns from his annual pilgrimage at the South By Southwest Music Festival (SXSW) in Austin, Texas. “It just sucks,” Carvo explains. “He always comes back with an iPhone full of new bands that no one has ever heard of, and I have to feign interest in them, or else he gets really sullen and starts questioning the validity of our relationship.”

Cargo’s friend, Sydney Parks, feels that the fact that Carvo has to work so hard to be excited for a band no one cares about does not bode well for the future of their relationship. “I mean, seriously, in the time that Gina has been dating Gee or Guy or whatever he calls himself, I’ve been married, had three kids, and gotten divorced. And she’s so clueless, going to these lengths to try to impress him.”

According to Carvo, this year, Luetterson is particularly excited about artists ranging from mumblecore rap artist Duckwrth to electric pop standouts, U.S. Girls. “It’s really annoying because I have to pretend to be engaged in this music he’s playing me. And even when I come up with things to say, he just gets contemptuous. Like this band, the U.S. Girls. I told him I thought they sounded a bit like ABBA and he just snarls, ‘They’re so much more interesting than ABBA!”

Of particular annoyance to Cargo is Luetterson’s love of female-led punk band Bully. “For one thing, he just keeps talking about how awesome it would be if he were dating the lead singer, which makes me feel like shit. And for another, he doesn’t even remember that he saw Bully in 2015 and said all the same things.”

“I just keep telling Gina to dump this guy, or ghee, and find someone new. But she won’t listen to me.” In fact, Carvo believes that this summer is going to be the one where Luetterson finally asks her to marry him. “This summer is the fifteenth anniversary of our first date. And I know how important anniversaries are to music people, so I’m pretty sure this will be the year. I’m certain that when we’re married, all these troubles will just go away

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