Kanye West Launches New Pet Product Line Entitled “Poopity Scoop.”
Only a few months after the release of his hit song, “Lift Yourself,” Kanye has announced that he will be creating a line of pet waste scoopers for both cats and dogs.
Anti-Kaepernick Sneaker Heads Saying Anything To Avoid Having to Burn Their Nikes
In response to Nike’s new Just Do It campaign featuring Colin Kaepernick, anti-Kaepernick supporters around the country began burning their Nike products and posting the images on social media.
“There Is A God,” Claim Millions of Atheists After Hearing the News That Bono Lost His Voice
Upon the news that Bono completely lost his voice, partway through U2’s performance in Berlin Saturday, atheists around the world began to seriously question their worldview.
Elon Musk’s Next Collaboration Is a Trip
ATA has since discovered that Musk is working closely with DTK (Drink the Koolaid) Labs on a new LSD that he claims will initiate a new industrial revolution.
Utterly Bias and Unscholarly (But True) Study Reveals That Autotune is Like a Drug to Millennials
A recent study from ATA’s own DTK (Drink the KoolAid) laboratory, revealed that Millennials and Post Millennials alike are genetically predisposed to become addicted to Autotune.
Despite Video Evidence, Texas Man Refuses to Admit He Has Ever Been Drunk
Despite video evidence to the contrary, Jethro Chevydiesel (Chevydiesel) refused to admit he was drunk the night before—or ever. “I ain’t never been drunk in my Goddamn life.”
How Maria Beat The Real Housewives of the PTA at Their Own Game
I really didn’t care about winning, but seeing this lady’s cheerleader determination, made me say “I’m winning this mofo.”
Area Man Unable to Attend ‘Keep Families Together’ Rally Due to Daughter’s Softball Team Commitment
Stanley family friend Leah Burt stated, “I was really surprised. I actually went to the rally because Taylor said Lindsey, the kids, and him were going to be there. But he was nowhere to be found.”
Man Who Didn’t Get Riot Fest Tickets Tries Convincing Anyone Who’ll Listen the Line-Up Isn’t That Good
Thirty-eight-year-old Dennis Skimler has taken to social media as well as personal interactions to inform the public that this year’s Riot Fest line-up is just not that good.
Mother Clips Tags From Son’s Off White Jordans and Subsequently Ruins His Life
“It started off well enough,” he lamented. “I mean it actually started off great. On Monday, my birthday, I woke up to a deadstock pair of Off White Jordans from my mom and dad. I thought it was a dream, you know.”