Pho King Slayer – Final World Tour 2018
Slayer is starting their final tour ever, which means their final tour until they decide they need another couple of million in the bank, at which point they’ll have a reunion tour.
Nevertheless, assuming this is the end, it’s also the end of one of the greatest cathartic battle cries ever: FUCKING SLAYERRRRR!!!
Other than the Grand Canyon, there is no place like a Slayer concert to proclaim, “Fucking Slayer!!!” Because once you do, like the Grand Canyon, your battle cry will be reciprocated by at least ten “Fucking Slayer” proclamations in return.
Plus, the more over the top and evil; the more you curdle your voice into a sharp or bellowing demonic growl; the more aggressive you display your devil horns while screaming “Fucking Slayer;” the better the response from the other Slayer fans around you. Your evil energy is contributing to the collective evil energy, which somehow bonds you with the other Slayer fans, resulting in some truly magnificent “Fucking Slayer” battle cries all around.
Everywhere else, you’ll be an outcast, a freak, and a weirdo—and if you’re running through the suburbs yelling “Fucking Slayer,” at the top of your lungs, in your most evil voice, at any time, you’re probably on PCP or out of your fucking mind and those judging you would probably be correct.
Even if you’re at a backyard BBQ with all of your buddies, and someone throws on Angel of Death, you can all yell “Fucking Slayerrrrr!!!” maybe twice. After that, be assured one of your neighbors, will be dialing the police as fast as if they saw two random black adolescents walking down the street after dark in Irvine (or just hanging out in a Starbucks).
However, at a Slayer concert, it’s not only expected, it’s part of the experience.
So, get your tickets and break out your hi-top Pony’s, your smedium Reign In Blood Tour shirt from 1986, your leather biker jacket with the belt that no longer fits around your beer and carne asada burrito belly, and most importantly, start practicing your best “Fucking Slayerrrrr” rendition.
Because it just might be the last time you’ll be able to yell “Fucking Slayerrrrr,” at the top of your lungs, in your most evil voice, and be appreciated for the same.