Shut The Fuck Up Apple Cheddar Pie

By Desiree Haight

This Awesome Totally Awesome recipe comes from renown Chef Vanessa Rosenspies, formerly the head Pastry Chef at Model Milk, one of Canada’s most celebrated restaurants in Calgary, Alberta.

Calgary has a booming film industry and boasts many back drops in films and television like A River Runs Through It, The Unforgiven, Fargo, Inception and more recently The Revenant…which brings me to the story of why I had to publish this recipe.

Like most days, Chef Vanessa would come in to work and hear the servers regale the tales and nightmares from the night before.   A usual commiseration of what sucked, what was rad, and who slept with who after work – you know, the usual kitchen stuff.

On this day, the servers pounced on Chef Vanessa with unusual enthusiasm when she walked in.  They were giddy.  Laughing and telling her that the night before Leonardo DiCaprio was in the restaurant with a big table – a huge entourage.  I guess it was a usual thing for the film crew from The Revenant to come in during filming. I can just see it, “Leo table for 20!”

As legend has it, Leo ordered Chef Vanessa’s Apple Cheddar Pie and when it came, he had one bite, then promptly slammed his hands down and told everyone to “Shut the fuck up, I’m eating pie!”  Hence the awesome totally awesome name.

We’re also told the director of Gravity, Alfonso Cuarón bowed to Chef Vanessa when she toured his set and he found out she was the one who made the fucking awesome apple cheddar pie.

Chef Vanessa is now at Community Natural Foods in Calgary, Alberta, Canada.

Shut The Fuck Up Apple Cheddar Pie

Crumble Topping
(make this first and refrigerate 4 hours)

2 1/3 Cups All Purpose Flour
1 Cup Soft Butter
1 1/3 Cup Brown Sugar
1 3/4 Cups Aged Shredded Cheddar
1 Tsp Salt

Cheddar Pie Crust

1 1/3 Cup All Purpose Flour
1/3 Cup Grated Frozen Butter (Grate frozen butter on a regular cheese grater)
½ Tsp Sugar
½ Tsp Salt
¼ Cup Ice Cold Water

Mix with the tip end of a wooden spoon (it’s easier) just until it comes together, form a disc, wrap in plastic and pop in the fridge for 1 hour, roll out and pop it in a pan, back in the fridge until you have your filling done. Pour some dry beans or lentils over the crust and par bake it for 10 minutes, let cool then fill with Apples.

Apple Filling Yo!

12 Gala Apples Sliced
½ Cup Sugar
½ Cup All Purpose Flour
½ Cup Melted Butter
1 ½ Tsp Vanilla

Stir together and pop in the crust, crumble the topping over it and back at 350 degrees for 15 minutes.

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