Awesome Totally Awesome - Cauliflower

The Evils of Cauliflower

I was scrolling through Facebook the other day when something caught my attention; a video recipe of what looked like the most incredible mac and cheese, ever. To my horror, upon further inspection, this was a recipe for cauliflower mac and cheese! That’s right, cauliflower in place of pasta! What madness is this?!

The health craze has finally reached an all time high on the ludicrous scale. Replacing pasta with a vegetable(and not a very tasty one at that) is carbohydrate sacrilege! Delving further into this insanity, I discovered that some people are even replacing an American staple and icon of diners everywhere, mashed potatoes. Why? Are the carbs too yummy? Do they provide too much energy? Were they making us too happy? It’s like we are more concerned with living an extra two years than with enjoying the food that makes life worth living.

They, and by “They” I mean what I can only assume is some sort of communist cauliflower organization or CCO, have even taken to trying to use this stinking weed for pizza crust. This type of behavior will be the downfall of America and it doesn’t stop with cauliflower.

While cauliflower is at the forefront of the health epidemic, it is just one of the symptoms. Others include veggie burgers, salads on fast food menus, tofu anything and of course the gluten free movement. First of all, what is gluten, anyway? Ten years ago, only scientists and the FDA knew anything about this magical substance. Now, every skinny guy with a man bun or soccer mom can take a bite of a donut and identify whether or not it contains gluten.

I miss the old days when you ate something that made you sick and you had two choices: never consume it again or keep consuming it, until you build up a tolerance(the same philosophy applies to tequila). Nowadays, an article appears on the internet, followed by the author’s appearance on some daytime tv show and everyone is now allergic to something that no one ever heard of until a few years ago.

Vegans also seem to be taking over the country. My favorite places to eat are now forced to provide a vegan alternative on the menu. I know that when I go into pub and grub to swill beer and fill my arteries with delicious cholesterol, it’s common to see a guy with a poor attempt at facial hair, asking the waitress if the French fries are cooked in animal fat or if any seeds were hurt in the harvesting of grain used in the bread. They’re so worried about eliminating any suffering, but don’t seem to mind torturing the poor woman serving their food with idiotic questions.

Veganism, if that’s a word, is truly going to be the end of life as we know it. Imagine the majority of the population turns vegan. Any country can come in and take over, because we created a race of humans who can be taken down with a cup of chicken broth and a bag of dairy products.

Awesome Totally Awesome - Freaks & Weirdos Boutique
ATA - DTK

Awesome Dropping

UBER Chronicles

Uber Chronicles: Tuesday Morning Microagression

Mike was my fellow Uber passenger. He got out to help me into the vehicle. As he got back in, he told Bob, our driver, to hop to it! Bob thanked him for helping me get in.
Awesome Totally Awesome - John Bonham

Five Famous Rock Stars Killed by Alcohol

Many rock stars have died way too young because of their addiction to alcohol and drinking. Here are five famous rockers who died from the bottle.
Awesome Totally Awesome - Bon Scott

Five of the Greatest AC/DC Songs with Bon Scott

These songs are five of the best AC/DC recorded with the great Bon Scott on vocals and writing the lyrics.

Awesome Features

Awesome Totally Awesome Wickenheiser

Maple Leafs Move With the Times in Hiring Wickenheiser The GOAT of Women's Hockey

The Toronto Maple Leafs announced that they hired Canadian Olympian and gold medalist Hayley Wickenheiser as Assistant Director of Player Development on Thursday August 23, 2018.
Awesome Totally Awesome - Hip hop woke hoax
Awesome Totally Awesome - Supreme Box Hoodie Legit Check 101Four-Pins

Legit Check 101 Supreme: Box Logo Hoodies

The Supreme Box Logo (“BOGO”) Hoodie is one of the most iconic and sought Supreme pieces year in and year out. We’re here to provide you with a basic checklist that should apply to any BOGO Hoodie within the past 10 years.

Awesome Trending

Awesome Totally Awesome - Dom Kennedy

Gotta Love Dom: The Underrated Rapper has Built a Cult Following Without Selling Out

With the continuous influx of soulless, mumble rap, many of us are yearning for the good old days. Fortunately, there are a few rappers out there restoring our faith in the genre.
Awesome Totally Awesome Replaced My Bumper

I Replaced My Bumper: A Tale of Avoiding Trendy Plastic Surgery

My formative teen years did not involve the ever-present smartphone of today, but the media still found ways of consistently feeding me the image of “the perfect body.”
Awesome Totally Awesome Beastie Boys Check Your Head

Why Check Your Head By the Beasties Will Always Be My Favorite Album

Check Your Head was named after a random occurrence wherein Ad Rock had purchased a pack of Desert Storm trading cards and brought them to the studio.