Awesome Totally Awesome - Cauliflower

The Evils of Cauliflower

I was scrolling through Facebook the other day when something caught my attention; a video recipe of what looked like the most incredible mac and cheese, ever. To my horror, upon further inspection, this was a recipe for cauliflower mac and cheese! That’s right, cauliflower in place of pasta! What madness is this?!

The health craze has finally reached an all time high on the ludicrous scale. Replacing pasta with a vegetable(and not a very tasty one at that) is carbohydrate sacrilege! Delving further into this insanity, I discovered that some people are even replacing an American staple and icon of diners everywhere, mashed potatoes. Why? Are the carbs too yummy? Do they provide too much energy? Were they making us too happy? It’s like we are more concerned with living an extra two years than with enjoying the food that makes life worth living.

They, and by “They” I mean what I can only assume is some sort of communist cauliflower organization or CCO, have even taken to trying to use this stinking weed for pizza crust. This type of behavior will be the downfall of America and it doesn’t stop with cauliflower.

While cauliflower is at the forefront of the health epidemic, it is just one of the symptoms. Others include veggie burgers, salads on fast food menus, tofu anything and of course the gluten free movement. First of all, what is gluten, anyway? Ten years ago, only scientists and the FDA knew anything about this magical substance. Now, every skinny guy with a man bun or soccer mom can take a bite of a donut and identify whether or not it contains gluten.

I miss the old days when you ate something that made you sick and you had two choices: never consume it again or keep consuming it, until you build up a tolerance(the same philosophy applies to tequila). Nowadays, an article appears on the internet, followed by the author’s appearance on some daytime tv show and everyone is now allergic to something that no one ever heard of until a few years ago.

Vegans also seem to be taking over the country. My favorite places to eat are now forced to provide a vegan alternative on the menu. I know that when I go into pub and grub to swill beer and fill my arteries with delicious cholesterol, it’s common to see a guy with a poor attempt at facial hair, asking the waitress if the French fries are cooked in animal fat or if any seeds were hurt in the harvesting of grain used in the bread. They’re so worried about eliminating any suffering, but don’t seem to mind torturing the poor woman serving their food with idiotic questions.

Veganism, if that’s a word, is truly going to be the end of life as we know it. Imagine the majority of the population turns vegan. Any country can come in and take over, because we created a race of humans who can be taken down with a cup of chicken broth and a bag of dairy products.

Awesome Totally Awesome - Freaks & Weirdos Boutique
ATA - DTK

Awesome Dropping

Awesome Totally Awesome

Fallout Gamers Already Planning Sick Days, Family Emergencies, Vacation Time, and Any Excuse to Work Remotely in Anticipation of Fallout 76 Release this November

Eileen, a luck 10 has plans to “Just wing it and miss three weeks of work.  I’ll cross my fingers and toes and hope I have a job whenever, I decide to return.”
Awesome Totally Awesome Overwatch Worst Players

Top 5 Terrible Players in Overwatch

However, there’s always going to be those who pay no mind to what is needed to achieve victory but rather prioritize their own fulfillment of self-gratification. As done to death as this topic may be, here is my list of the top five worst players in Overwatch (in no particular order).
Awesome Totally Awesome

Grails - Photoshoot Featuring @ymanibarbee and @adore.eu Wearing Kanye and Jay-Z Grails from Everybody Skates

Ymani and Natalie looking fine in streetwear grails by Everybody Skates. Ymani is wearing Everybody Skates' Jay-Z shirt.  Natalie is wearing Everybody Skates Kanye shirt.  The only newer company represented in this shoot, Everybody Skates is skate icon, Alphonso Rawls' clothing company whose iconic shirts are announced via his Instagram and sell out in hours.  Don't sleep on Everybody Skates.

Awesome Features

Cliff Burton's Influence on Ride The Lightning

There's no question Metallica's sophomore album, Ride the Lightning saw the band finding their thrash metal stride with better songs and production than on their stunning debut Kill 'Em All.
Awesome Totally Awesome - Temple Of The Dog

ATA Revisits The Classic, Temple of the Dog

There are few hard rock albums with packed with as much raw emotion as the stellar Temple of the Dog record.
Awesome Totally Awesome The Comedy Store

Break on Through to the Other Side: Trying to Make it as a Comedian in Los Angeles

Comedy becomes an unreliable drug, one that sends you shooting to the moon or crashing into the fiery depths of hell.

Awesome Trending

Awesome Totally Awesome How Maria Beat

How Maria Beat The Real Housewives of the PTA at Their Own Game

I really didn’t care about winning, but seeing this lady’s cheerleader determination, made me say “I’m winning this mofo.”
Awesome Totally Awesome - Utterly Bias

Utterly Bias and Unscholarly (But True) Study Reveals That Autotune is Like a Drug to Millennials

A recent study from ATA’s own DTK (Drink the KoolAid) laboratory, revealed that Millennials and Post Millennials alike are genetically predisposed to become addicted to Autotune.

The New Apple x Suicidal Tendencies Circle Pit Watch Will Revolutionize Your Circle Pit Safety and Experience

According to Muir, “All I wanted was a basic, durable, no bullshit watch, like my old Casio, but with an Institutionalized ring tone and THEY WOULDN’T GIVE IT TO ME.”