Fallout 4 Addict Arrested After Breaking Into A Local Man’s Basement Survival Shelter

Victorville, CA

Fallout 4 addict, Mr. I.P. Knightly was arrested this morning for several counts of burglary after breaking into a local man’s (survivalist Red Knect) basement survival shelter. Knightly was caught and subdued by Knect, a fifth-degree black belt in Jeet Kun do, when his plastic garbage bag filled with several rolls of duct tape, a bathroom scale, several aluminum plates, and multiple zip-lock bags filled with screws and bottle caps broke and scattered all over Knect’s backyard.

“I woke up to my dog Bubba barking and this dipshit yelling ‘Fuck Fuck Fucking Fuck,’” said Knect. “I ran out there like a bat outta Hell and sees this skinny fucker sprawled out trying to grab as much duct tape off of the ground as possible. Like I says, he was a skinny fucker, but he broke into my home and was probably on crack, so punted him like that Italian Patriots kicker that went to the Colts—what’s his name… Vinatieriiii?”

Despite having several thousands of dollars in cash piled on Knect’s survival shelter table, Knightly only tried to steal the basic goods he was caught with.

When questioned by the Police, Knightly proclaimed that “You don’t understand you synth fuckers. You don’t even realize you’re synths. There are no rules anymore, it’s the apocalypse. There is no paper currency, only Nuka caps. I hit the motherlode. Shelves of military grade duct tape. Adhesive man, it’s all about the adhesive.”

When asked about his motive, Hunt stated, “I was only about 200 caps from being able to purchase the ‘home plate’ apartment in Diamond City. That should have been enough to boost my charisma level and be Piper’s ‘sancho.’” Hunt’s attorney indicated Hunt is being evaluated for psychological issues.

Oddly enough, the Police were able to perform the complicated math related to the situation and later arrested Knect for money laundering.

Awesome Totally Awesome - Freaks & Weirdos Boutique
ATA - DTK

Awesome Dropping

SPOTLIGHT ON: WATCH FOR HORSES

Wiretap Records performing and recording artist, Watch For Horses, played their final show of 2017 at The Satellite in Los Angeles, CA.
Awesome Totally Awesome - Louder Than Love

An In-Depth Look at Soundgarden's Louder Than Love

While Nirvana became the poster band for the so-called grunge revolution, Soundgarden is the group that really first broke significant ground in Seattle. And it was their sophomore album, Louder Than Love, that paved the way for the rest of the bands in Seattle in the late 1980s.
Awesome Totally Awesome - Mick Taylor

Five of Mick Taylor's Best Solos with the Rolling Stones

Most Rolling Stones fans know the impact guitarist Mick Taylor had on the band during his tenure from 1969-1974.

Awesome Features

Awesome Totally Awesome - Ignoring Help

Why Are We Ignoring a Blatant Cry For Help?

We want to believe that we are morally “good”, but when the shit actually hits the metaphorical—or literal—fan, sometimes we fail.
Awesome Totally Awesome - DTK

Eddie Van Halen & Randy Rhoads: Duelling Guitarists

It's 1977 and the hard rock scene in Los Angeles is thriving in booze-soaked, Hollywood bars like the Starwood and Whisky thanks to two local bands: Van Halen and Quiet Riot.
Awesome Totally Awesome - The Distillers

ATA's Timeline Review of The Distillers at the Hollywood Palladium

I tell my daughter that this album was written after the singer of the Distillers left the singer of Rancid. She doesn’t give a sh*t.

Awesome Trending

UBER Chronicles

Uber Chronicles: Tuesday Morning Microagression

Mike was my fellow Uber passenger. He got out to help me into the vehicle. As he got back in, he told Bob, our driver, to hop to it! Bob thanked him for helping me get in.
Awesome Totally Awesome Elon Musk

Elon Musk’s Next Collaboration Is a Trip

ATA has since discovered that Musk is working closely with DTK (Drink the Koolaid) Labs on a new LSD that he claims will initiate a new industrial revolution.
Awesome Totally Awesome - Kanye West I Love It

Kanye West & Lil Pump Roblox "I Love It," Video: How did we get here?

/
Kanye West. The man of many faces. Some say he’s a god.  Some being Kanye. Others, like J.Cole, think differently.