PLAYAAA!69 Proclaims That He Will Never Stop Playing Hanzo

Peoria, IL,

Despite constant bullying, Hanzo Main, I.P. Knightley (who plays as PLAYAAA!69), proclaims that he will never stop playing Hanzo, and feels the even when his entire team has already picked their character and there is no healer and no tank on the team, that he must pick Hanzo. “Even though I am a 28 year-old white boy who has never travelled outside of the Mid-West, I feel like I have the soul of an Oriental Yakuza bowmaster.”

“Fuck these hater dorks living in their parents’ basement. If they are so bothered by my pick, they can quit playing Overwatch.”

When asked what the best part of playing Hanzo was, I.P. replied, “I love when these mofos play on my team and are calling me all sorts of hateful shit like “Hanjo”, “Man nipple”, and “Stupid Useless Fucking Fuck”—especially when I am averaging 4-5 kills per round. I just try and keep my cool and wait until they’re on the other team. Then I spend the entire game trying to kill them and when I do, I fucking tea-bag them and yell at the screen, ‘Yah you like that Bitch.’”

How do you tea-bag them? “Fuck you’re simple. Stand over their dead body and push the squat/stand button in rapid succession fool. If the stupid game would allow me, I’d tag their face with my Yakuza grafitti spray while tea-bagging them. Hear that Blizzard, hire me.”

When asked if he lived in his parents’ basement, I.P. stated, “Fuck that fool, I live in the loft.”

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