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Hoppily Ever After: The Evolution of Craft Beer From Hipster Beards to Fruity Beers

Who doesn’t like a nice, cold beer on a hot day or even a cold day, for that matter? There are only two types of people who don’t like beer; weirdos and toddlers. On the other side of the spectrum are the beer geeks or craft beer enthusiasts and since I am one, I prefer the latter.

Craft beer has been a steadily growing part of American culture since the early 2000’s. At first the craft beer renaissance was a beacon of hope for those of us who wanted to class up their alcoholism, but in the past few years things have taken a turn. It used to be a small group of us slightly chubby, but adorable men in every city, walking into local pubs and asking sophisticated questions like, “What do you have on tap”, “Are the new seasonal brews in, yet” and the ever popular “Can I get that in a tulip glass”… After a few years, the craft beer culture really took hold and my people were in our glory for quite a while and then it happened. It became mainstream.

Once something becomes popular, someone inevitably starts the ball of idiocy rolling and ruins it for everyone. This time, it was the young people. Pubs were now filled with college students drinking IPAs, not because they enjoyed them, but because it was cool. Bars filled with Greek lettered sweatshirts, unfortunate haircuts and high-fiving morons were taking over the scene. Luckily, craft beer started to become expensive and therefore eliminated the “I got wasted for five dollars” college crowd.

Then it was time for the beards to take over. First, it was the nicely trimmed beards of businessmen and the upper crust, then the beards along with the alcohol content started to increase in size. A beard’s size is now in direct correlation to the craft beer consumption and knowledge of its owner.

This trend was ok, because it didn’t effect the quality of the product, but then like everything else we men hold dear, the ladies stepped in and changed everything.

Yep, once the ladies got involved, everything was turned upside down. Craft brews always came in a variety of flavors and styles. That should have been enough, but noooooooo. Now we have fruit in our beers, food and beer pairings, gluten free beer, organic beer and beer stores, so you can buy a six pack of your favorite brew, take it home and spend more time with your family.

That last one makes the most sense. Family time should always be supplemented with heavy alcohol consumption. ladies have given us peanut butter beer, chocolate beer, wine infused beer, beer cocktails and the list goes on…. While it is still more tolerable than the yellow, fizzy, piss water that the huge popular breweries pump out on a daily basis, it’s just not the same.

The only solace I can take from women getting into craft beer is that now giving my girlfriend a six pack of super hoppy pale ale counts as a bouquet of flowers.

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