Awesome Totally Awesome How To Pretend

How to Pretend to Be Doing Something With Your Life

Life is hard. There are a million choices we could make in our lives that will impact us in ways we can never even imagine… but let’s be honest with all these choices we think to ourselves, “What the fuck do I do with my life?” Do I go back to college? Do I stay in a relationship that’s just so-so? Do I stay in a job I hate? Do I leave the town I grew up in?

Secretly, most of us don’t have enough ambition to go out of our way to do anything that would amount to winning a Nobel Peace Prize or an Oscar. And that’s fine! If your goal in life is to have no goals but to get your judgmental family and friends off your back, then I have the solution for you! Here is my guide to pretend to be doing something with your life:

 1) Talk in great detail about the book you’re writing

Let’s face it, writers are cool. The idea of pouring your soul out for months at a time on a piece of paper to create a piece of work that could potentially touch the hearts of millions across, not just the world, but time, is so hot and interesting! But, who the hell wants to actually spend the time putting together a thoughtful interesting story that had something deeper to say?

Instead of writing a novel just say you are writing one. If someone wants to see it, just say that you’re too critical of yourself to let anyone read it until it’s done. What’s great about this lie is that it really does take some people decades to write a novel. So, this lie can go on forever. Every time people see you on your phone or laptop you could say, “Just writing my novel. I need quiet.” And no one would ever know you’re lying. Then there’s the obvious question that you will get asked, “What’s your novel about?”

Simple, just watch one season of some old PBS British crime drama from them and take the plot from that while changing the names of the characters. No one is the wiser.

If someone has seen that show then just be surprised at the similarity.

 2) Talk about traveling (you never actually have to do this)

Whatever Instagram and Pinterest may show, traveling is expensive and exhausting. Most people do want to travel at some point in their life, but like most Americans, we don’t do this due to expense, hassle (to get a passport), and horror travel stories (Locked Up Abroad). Honestly, sometimes it is better to just stay at home watching Netflix on a warm bed.

Since most people do want to travel, why not join them in on your lie of having wanderlust? Talk about the mountains you want to climb, the sights you want to see, and the gorgeous foreigners you want to meet. Eventually, people will see you as someone who really has a passion for life.

 3) Volunteer one time somewhere and then for the next five years talk about your love of volunteering

Everyone respects people who donate their time to give compassion to those who need it most. Sadly, most of us don’t have the time or compassion to get our heads out of our self-absorbed asses to do this. Why not just volunteer one day at an animal shelter, take cute photos and then never shut the fuck up for the next five years about your love of volunteering. This will not only make you seem like a better person but you’ll also seem like a busy person. Bonus points: Volunteering will be a great excuse to why you don’t have any money, as well.

4) Get a partner

Start dating a person that doesn’t annoy you too much and looks okay. You can marry this person and possibly start a family. If you are raising a family no one will ever question if you’re doing something with your life.

If your marriage fails, that’s fine! Divorce also can count as you doing something with your life. Plus, there are all these great conversations you can have with people about how your new life is going to be so different and better without your spouse (in reality it will be the same). Then start dating new people and then marry one of them. Talk about how great your new partner is (even though they are probably the same).

Awesome Totally Awesome - Freaks & Weirdos Boutique
ATA - DTK

Awesome Dropping

Awesome Totally Awesome - Brockhampton

Immerse Yourself in BROCKHAMPTON

If you have not given BROCKHAMPTON a chance because of lack of awareness or understanding of who they are, you are missing out on some unique and innovative music.
Awesome Totally Awesome

Grails - Photoshoot Featuring @ymanibarbee and @adore.eu Wearing Grails by Manik, Skateboards, and Rebel 8

Ymani and Natalie looking fine in streetwear grails. Ymani is wearing Manik Skateboards', Kurt Cobain T-Shirt photographed by legendary Seattle photographer Charles Peterson. Natalie is wearing Rebel 8's, Punk is Dead T-shirt only available from Digital Gravel's monthly mystery box, The Digger's Club from the early 2000's, which featured product from iconic brands such as The Hundred's and Diamond Supply Co
Awesome Totally Awesome - Assasin's Greed

Assassin's Greed: Did Ubisoft Intentionally Make Assassin's Creed Odyssey So Difficult That You Have to Buy Your Way To Completion

Whether you're slashing through hordes of enemies with a sword or gunning down waves of mutated zombies with a machine gun, it's all part of the grind.

Awesome Features

Awesome Totally Awesome

Awesome Totally Awesome's Review of Balenciaga's Spring 2018 Lookbook

/
I should open with the following statement: I know nothing about high fashion. But I do know the difference between something aesthetically pleasing tickling my photoreceptors from an outfit that makes me think “What’s going on here?!”
Awesome Totally Awesome - LookBook Winter 2018

Cop Our Merch: ATA DTK Freaks & Weirdos Boutique Lookbook Volume 1

Awesome Totally Awesome - Freaks & Weirdos Boutique Lookbook Volume 1 Winter 2018
Awesome Totally Awesome - DTK

The Story of Black Sabbath's "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath"

In 1973, Black Sabbath were riding high on the success of their Vol. IV album and mammoth tour of the U.S., Australia and Europe.

Awesome Trending

Malcolm Gladwell Sued by Shaq, Wallace, Jordan and Drummond

SHAQUILLE O’NEAL, BEN WALLACE, DEANDRE JORDAN, AND ANDRE DRUMMOND filed a joint lawsuit in Federal District Court against author Malcolm Gladwell
Awesome Totally Awesome - Kanye West I Love It

Kanye West & Lil Pump Roblox "I Love It," Video: How did we get here?

/
Kanye West. The man of many faces. Some say he’s a god.  Some being Kanye. Others, like J.Cole, think differently.
Awesome Totally Awesome - Scientology

Hanging With The Brainwashers: ATA Goes Undercover With The Church of Scientology

It was a rainy day in Sydney, Australia when I was walking down a sidewalk with my Finnish friend Isabella, when I saw a nice enough looking woman handing out some kind of paper to passersby.