Rock Dad in a Mumble Rap World

Cameron Maxwell
Vancouver Island, Canada

One thing every parent can say is they want the best for their children. And that applies to music as well.

Parents want their children to listen to good music, period. For those of us who are into music, this is paramount.

But in today’s music world, it seems most teenagers, my kids included, are hooked on every two-bit, useless, no-name hip hop or rap artist and their god-damn annoying “Skirt, Skirt” (which is a rapper mimicking the sound of an expensive sports car screeching its tires on the asphalt) behind some poorly programmed bass and drum track on some fucking endless loop that never changes.

I’ll drive my son after school to a basketball game with some of his teammates and, inevitably, he’ll switch the Bluetooth onto his phone and start playing his “music”. God help us all when that happens and four kids – whose voices are breaking with puberty – are “singing” along with the headache-inducing melody. As a dad driving, there is nowhere to hide and avoid the pure shit coming out of the Mazda speakers.

Suffice it to say, it’s pretty sad when kids are listening to Lil Yachty, 21 Savage, Migos, and Future, and every song is an ode to sex and materialism with how expensive their car or house is.

Case is point is a completely random song I picked by Lil Yachty called “Boat Skirrt”. Here are the lyrics to the last verse:

 Big Benz make a bitch have sex
I just wanna catch the neck, I just wanna catch the neck
Private party bitch buckle down
Yeah you fucking with them clowns, come and fuck with a boss
All W’s bitch, we don’t take losses
Whole neck, wrist, fucking faucets”

In those lyrics, there’s no story. There’s no conveying emotion. It’s just about fucking and materialistic bullshit.

I’ve tried to listen to it with an open mind, hoping there would be some epiphany to validate this music. But no. Nothing. Just mind-numbing, endless “Skirt, Skirt” and “Uh uh”.

I remember when my wife was pregnant and we’d listen to music in the car. I’d always play something classic with good harmonies thinking the growing fetus in her womb would hear it and come out “programmed” to enjoy that music.

I pumped out the Rolling Stones, The Eagles, Metallica, Led Zeppelin, Soundgarden, Nirvana, Fleetwood Mac, Pink Floyd, AC/DC – you get the idea.

But while your children will quietly endure what music you listen to in the car when they’re young, once they gain more independence and feel the peer pressure, they will always gravitate to what their friends are listening to, especially in junior and high school.

Now, there are some stellar rappers out there right now like Kendrick Lamar and Eminem. And thank God my 13-year-old will listen to, and appreciates, the greats including Dr. Dre, Tupac, NWA and Snoop Dogg. So that’s a small victory right there.

And there’s still hope my children will come to their senses and get into truly great music with real instruments and singing, and amazing lyrics that tell a story or convey some real feeling.

After all, I’m not too old to forget my parents absolutely loathed what I was listening to when I was a teenager.

Cam is our resident rock expert and while he is no fan of mumble rap, he is a genius on all things rock and metal.  Check his other articles in our music section here.  Check out his entire catalog of work at his blog here.

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