If you’ve ever wondered why ladies wear sleep masks to bed, it’s to not only to avoid under eye bags but also the possibility of that we would sleep walk into a tattoo parlor.
While the face tattoo trend is taking rich white boys by storm, this one seems more like a blatant cry for help rather than an artistic expression of their “fuck me money.” What’s even more concerning is that we were once a nation that eagerly watched Britney Spears unravel with a shaved head wielding an umbrella at invasive paparazzi, and we all had opinions about that. We labeled her an “unfit mother,” and caused a domino effect of breakdowns through people like Chris Crocker—bet you haven’t heard that name in a while—for shaving her head under stress, but we’re ignoring the very permanent cheekbone message? Need I remind everyone that hair grows back? Are we just desensitized to erratic celebrity actions, or do we assume a woman would lose her mind while a guy would just make a mildly questionable choice?
Due to the over seven degrees of separation—and maybe a pending restraining order—that stand between Austin Post and myself, I can’t just text him and ask “U OK? *sweating from brow emoji*”. I can only hope that those closest to him aren’t just “Yes Men” (or Yes Women, I know, it’s 2018 and women can be equally as complicit), and that they ask the necessary questions. At the end of the day, none of us want to be simple bystanders but due to circumstance, here we will stay: behind our laptops writing humor pieces and recording videos of us cry-screaming to leave Britney alone until a real friend to the A-lister can voice real concern.