Awesome Totally Awesome Burn Nike

Anti-Kaepernick Sneaker Heads Saying Anything To Avoid Having to Burn Their Nikes

Fort Lauderdale, Florida

In response to Nike’s new Just Do It campaign featuring Colin Kaepernick, anti-Kaepernick supporters around the country began burning their Nike products and posting the images on social media.

Most Anti-Kaepernick sneakerheads; however, have not been so quick to embrace the movement.

John Thomas, a Jordan, and Air Max, disciple lamented, “None of these, mofos burning their Nikes on social media are legit kick collectors, so they ain’t sacrificing anything.  That dude who started this shit is a fraud.  Have you seen those kicks?  They make Monarchs look like Off Whites in comparison.  I don’t even know what kind of Payless exclusive, clearance rack, model that is, but I’ll cut off the swoosh off of my five-year-old knee highs if anyone can tell me.  ‘I’ve been buying Nike’s for 20 years’—Fuck you.  Light up some Sean Wotherspoon’s and then I’ll take notice.’”

Darryl Johnson, an old school SB collector made a similar point.  “These assholes are just trying to get social media hits and don’t give a fuck about Kaepernick, while the press is just eating it up.  All the kicks I’ve seen on fire are Kohls specials or fakes.  I don’t agree with Kaepernick, but at least he’s sacrificing something.  These idiots burning their Nike Swifts are simply attention seekers.  They don’t represent me.”

Other Anti-Kaepernick sneakerheads simply waffled.

“I just collect Jordans,” said Dom Phoque, “So, there’s nothing for me to burn from my collection.”

Isn’t Nike the parent company of…

“Gotta go.”

“I won’t be buying any new Nikes moving forward,” said John Buttafuoco, while repping some pristine Jordan Off Whites.  “Nike already has my money for old purchases, so what’s the use of getting rid of them for no reason.  Plus burning shoes is bad for the environment and shit.”

How about the upcoming Supreme or Off White collabs, you’re boycotting buying those moving forward, too?

“Well…they don’t really hurt Nike, cause they’d sell out immediately if I copped them or not.  So, I guess I’m not buying any Nikes except for hyperstrikes,  quickstrikes,  and PE’s,”  he paused, “And Roshe’s, I mean they’re light and comfortable…and 360’s, just ’cause I’ve got gout and when it flares any other shoes are real painful…and classics…”

Since real sneakerheads were unwilling to commit to burning their Nikes, we then tried to address the authenticity of the shoes being burned.

When we asked Stu Pedasch whether the strange high-top kicks with the suspect Air Max bubble that he lit on fire and posted on Instagram were fake, he quickly deflected.

“It’s not about whether they’re fake or not.  It’s about America buddy.  It’s about the freedom we have in this country to make a stand, protected under the First Amendment, no matter how ridiculous it may seem to dumb fucks like you.  I don’t agree with Kaepernick desecrating our National sport, kneeling during the National Anthem—and I definitely don’t agree with Nike sponsoring such bullshit, so I have every right to burn Nike shit in protest.  Whether it’s fake or not is irrelevant.”

Doesn’t Kaepernick have that same right to express himself?

“Fuck you, you’re twisting my words.  It’s completely different and you know it.”

How?

“Because that fucker doesn’t represent my America.”

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