Baggage Handlers Preparing to Destroy Your New Supreme X Rimowa Luggage

Upon the announcement that Supreme will be dropping its highly anticipated Supreme x Rimowa aluminum luggage collection, baggage handlers around the world began honing their sledgehammers and practicing their elbow drops in anticipation of completely annihilating each and every piece of this collection that makes its way down the conveyor belt into their possession.

According to United Airlines baggage handler Seymour Butz, “This is like Christmas for us.  While the United in-flight staff get to occasionally assault and demean troublemakers, we focus on the simple fucking joy of trashing luggage. Usually, we don’t discriminate.  It’s kind of like a lottery down here.  Some luggage gets thrown 10 feet.  Others get body-slammed against the wall and shived with a box-cutter, depending on how we feel at that particular moment.  However, if some dumbfuck is fucking dumb enough to check in some shiny, foreign made, aluminum cased, luggage with a giant white SUP painted on it, then WHOOOOOOOOOOOO…bring it on.”

“None of us knew about this Supreme shit until about a year ago, when Supreme x Louis Vuitton made its first appearance through our carousels.  At first, it was so pretty, we didn’t know what to do with it.  That was until my boy Laetner came up with the idea to string it up like a piñata and swing on it with the Impaler Du Jour.  Which could be anything from a hockey stick to a sledgehammer but changed from day to day to make things more interesting like.

“Those piñata days were filled with memories, I’ll never forget.  Like when the Impaler Du Jour was a crowbar, and me and Laetner ended up in a fork-lift joust with a Supreme x Louis Vuitton Trunk, penetrating the handles on either side of the trunk with our crowbars.  We could try that a thousand times more and never accomplish that feat again, ever.  It was a magical day.  I wish we could have gotten that on video.

“Then the powers that be came down with a decree that Supreme x Louis Vuitton customers were too important to the airline, and were designated Amnesty luggage.”

What is amnesty luggage?

“You know, like dogs, cats, and golf clubs owned by white males over thirty-five.  Stuff the airline determines you can’t fuck with at all or you lose the tip of your pinky, Yakuza style.

“So far there hasn’t been an amnesty declared on Supreme x Rimowa luggage, so it’s fair game.”

When asked if he preferred to destroy the black or red versions of the luggage, Butz, replied, “We don’t discriminate down here.  That’s for the United suits and the in-flight staff.”

For more about Supreme’s upcoming budget line, click here.

Awesome Totally Awesome - Freaks & Weirdos Boutique
ATA - DTK

Awesome Dropping

Awesome Totally Awesome - Bifocal Media

Brands We Like. Bifocal Media: The Kings of Punk Rock T-Shirts

Our objective from the start was to create t-shirts for people who might not typically wear band shirts. I’d like to think we produce high quality, unique, collaborative shirts with a cool backstory. Limiting production to small numbers assures that you’re not going to see 10 other people wearing the same shirt.
Awesome Totally Awesome Best Metal Concerts

Five of the Greatest Metal Concerts Recorded on Video

There's nothing like watching a great band rocking at their peak on a night when they really have their proverbial shit together.
Awesome Totally Awesome - Weed

Five Great Hard Rock Songs About Weed

It's amazing the influence weed has had on the music industry from the old blues right up to today where many bands celebrate the kush.

Awesome Features

Awesome Totally Awesome Wickenheiser

Maple Leafs Move With the Times in Hiring Wickenheiser The GOAT of Women's Hockey

The Toronto Maple Leafs announced that they hired Canadian Olympian and gold medalist Hayley Wickenheiser as Assistant Director of Player Development on Thursday August 23, 2018.
Awesome Totally Awesome - Jarome Iginla

Jarome Iginla: The Pursuit of Greatness Sans a Championship

Despite playing in over 1,500 regular season games, 81 playoff games with three different teams and the fact that he is one of the most prolific scorers in the NHL, Iginla never achieved the Stanley Cup.
Awesome Totally Awesome - DTK

Eddie Van Halen & Randy Rhoads: Duelling Guitarists

It's 1977 and the hard rock scene in Los Angeles is thriving in booze-soaked, Hollywood bars like the Starwood and Whisky thanks to two local bands: Van Halen and Quiet Riot.

Awesome Trending

Awesome Totally Awesome Replaced My Bumper

I Replaced My Bumper: A Tale of Avoiding Trendy Plastic Surgery

My formative teen years did not involve the ever-present smartphone of today, but the media still found ways of consistently feeding me the image of “the perfect body.”
Awesome Totally Awesome - Stacy Kohut FOURLIFE

Stacy Kohut Interview: Four Wheels + For Life = FOURLIFE

I try to get 5 or 6 runs in the morning, then 5 or 6 runs after lunch. Its important to me to feel like I've put in the work, 'punched in' for the shift, when I ride. Makes the day have some more importance and meaning. A purpose if you will.
Awesome Totally Awesome Megan Thee Stallion

Make Way for Megan Thee Stallion

Megan Thee Stallion's unapologetic lyrics and ownership of her physical space and sexuality as a woman couldn’t be more important given the current political landscape.