Awesome Totally Awesome - Biker Shorts

Biker Shorts: The Athleisure Trend That Needs to Stop

It’s not news that biker shorts have been a thing this year. While it was nothing short of an atrocity from the get-go, there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight.

If it wasn’t bad enough that the ladies have jumped on this trend, it is picking up with male influencers as well.

I must say that I have been concerned about the pickup in traction of men wearing baggier pants, I’m still scarred from the early 2000’s, but this might even be worse. While seeing well-defined thighs, bulges bursting at the seams, and squat-sculpted buns might sound like good fun, it’s probably best left to the beautiful men at Magic Mike.

And ladies, you need to step away from the biker shorts too. We’re all in this together, so let’s stop hurting each other with this sad excuse for fashion.

Just to be clear, I completely understand the practical use of biker shorts and respect that they’re proper workout attire for some.

However, I cannot seem to get behind this trend, no matter who seems to be rocking it, I genuinely do not get the appeal.

They awkwardly elongate your torso area, kind of creating a Gumby effect where there’s one seamless color of fabric stretching down your stomach, making it run together with your thighs for an oddly disproportionate physique.

While they are often, somewhat appropriately, paired with workout shoes and other athleisure essentials, that’s not the only look they are used for.

Apparently, you can wear them with:

A. High heels

Awesome Totally Awesome - Biker Shorts

Awesome Totally Awesome - Biker Shorts

B. A blazer

Awesome Totally Awesome - Biker Shorts

C. Your boyfriend

Awesome Totally Awesome - Biker Shorts

D. And even bling them out…

Awesome Totally Awesome - Biker Shorts

So who do we blame for this grotesque misuse of athletic apparel?

It seems that Virgil Abloh, well-known founder and designer behind Pyrex Vision and OFF-WHITE, included biker shorts, inspired by Princess Diana, in his 2018 spring/summer fashion show.

With his own successful lines, collaborations with monumental brands including NIKE and Champion, and as creative director for Kanye West, working with him since 2002, Abloh has a heavy, well-earned influence on streetwear style as well as high fashion, with the likes of Fendi and Prada even including the shorts in their more recent lines.

However, I also believe the Kardashians, who seem to be the root of all fashion evil this year, had a heavy hand in making this trend stick around. For more of their crimes against humanity, see my previous post about tiny sunglasses and fugly dad sneakers or, just gaze upon this combo courtesy of Kylie Jenner.

Awesome Totally Awesome - Biker Shorts

Sadly, this isn’t just a weird American thing. The trend is sweeping the globe with British Vogue and other foreign magazines including biker shorts in their style columns this year and Instagram influences posting their favorite looks.

Awesome Totally Awesome - Biker Shorts
Awesome Totally Awesome - Biker Shorts

I really don’t care how hot or stylish you are, stop trying to make biker shorts happen! I am all for men and women wearing what makes them feel confident. However, when it comes to biker shorts I simply cannot. Honestly, I think Dr. Seuss summarized it best: “I do not like them here or there. I do not like them anywhere.”

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