Awesome Totally Awesome - Hello 90's

Hello 90’s, Goodbye Dignity

It’s no secret that 90’s trends have made their way into streetwear fashion. While some of these trends are all that, others are enough to make Steve Urkel stay away from Laura. The latter include tiny sunglasses and dad sneakers – and not only are these fashion travesties taking the streets on their own but they’re frequently paired together for the ultimate faux pas that has somehow turned to a so haut. Grab onto your laces as we dive deeper into the confusing vortex of how these style mishaps from decades past are once again terrorizing our streets.

So first, enemy number one – tiny sunglasses. I really don’t know where to even start with these except that they are part of an evil fashion duo, the other half of which is the bug-eyed oversized sunglasses of the 2008 variety. However, at least those actually served their purpose, you know covering your eyes and eyelid skin to protect them from the harmful effects of the sun. Tiny sunglasses, on the other hand, barely cover the actual eyeball and are usually worn half way down the nose for some reason, providing zero relief from glare of protection. What reason that might be is beyond my comprehension. Two common perpetrators of this style atrocity are Bella Hadid and Kylie Jenner. See Exhibits A and B:

Awesome Totally Awesome - Hello 90's
Awesome Totally Awesome - Hello 90's

And don’t even get me started on the complete mishap that is Bella’s entire outfit. However, possibly more concerning is the number of people who liked these looks.

So, we all know what dad sneakers are – I’m pretty sure if your dad is over the age of 45, he owns some awkwardly shaped, white tennis shoes that he’ll probably be wearing everywhere except for the gym. Sure, this look may work for Barack Obama’s leisure look – he’s been spotted rocking them for years and honestly, I’m not hating it, he really can do no wrong. Even if he used excessive amounts of spray tan – oh wait, never mind, someone’s already got that look covered and it isn’t pretty. While Barack can definitely still get it, Reebok®’s or not, dad sneakers don’t exactly scream hot babe. At least that’s what you’d think. These aren’t even like the slim-fit, cute converse we’ve all been wearing for decades, but instead, they’re usually chunky with ugly color-combinations that stick out from the rest of the outfit like a sore thumb. And, to top it off, this isn’t even some short-lived, celebrity trend, this is hitting the streets in full force. There are thousands and thousands of posts that come up when you search for dad sneakers on Instagram. This is literally like in Mean Girls (don’t roll your eyes, I know you’ve all seen at least once, or 10 times), when Janis cuts holes in Regina’s tank top and every girl does it instantly, even though they all look like idiots.

Awesome Totally Awesome - Hello 90's
Awesome Totally Awesome - Hello 90's

And just to make sure you all are as traumatized as I am, here is the unholy grail/demon spawn of these two looks. (*Proceed with caution, this image is not recommended for those who are sensitive to offensive imagery.)

Awesome Totally Awesome - Hello 90's

As the wise Randy Jackson once, well maybe thousands of times, said, “It’s a no from me dawg”, on both of these trends.

*Ed’s Note: DM me if you want to get rid of those fire…errrr ugly ass Mauve 700’s.

Awesome Totally Awesome - Freaks & Weirdos Boutique
ATA - DTK

Awesome Dropping

Awesome Totally Awesome Greatest Halloween Songs

Six Greatest Halloween Metal Songs

With All Hallows' Eve quickly approaching, we thought we'd compile a list of the greatest metal tracks with a spooky Halloween spirit to them.
Awesome Totally Awesome - DTK

Digging For Dirt: How Alice In Chains Made Their Ultimate Album

Among the truly great heavy metal albums, Alice in Chains' masterpiece Dirt is easily a cut above the rest.

Awesome Features

Awesome Totally Awesome - Venom

Venom, Suicide Squad, and the Rated R Risk: PG 13 Isn't Cutting It

Venom has problems. A startling criticism of a superhero movie rooted in the MCU but nonetheless an accurate one.

Why Phil Kessel Is Awesome (And Why You Should Think So Too)

Phil Kessel beat cancer during his rookie season and went on to become a five time thirty goal scorer and two time Stanley Cup Champion on his own terms.  In spite of being one of the most prolific goal scorers of his generation, Phil has been oft maligned, bullied, and minimized by the press, the fans, the NHL, and even his peers.
Awesome Totally Awesome Zen Hipster Douche

How To Be Zen Without Being a Douchebag

We live in a loud, obnoxious, ugly, and yes sometimes orange “Trumped-up” world. We all want a little more peace… a little calmer.

Awesome Trending

Awesome Totally Awesome - J.I.D.

J.I.D. – Don’t Underestimate What This Young Rapper Brings to the Table

Without pressing play, you may assume that J.I.D. is another one of the mumble rappers we don’t need more of.
Awesome Totally Awesome - Hip hop woke hoax
Awesome Totally Awesome Elon Musk

Elon Musk’s Next Collaboration Is a Trip

ATA has since discovered that Musk is working closely with DTK (Drink the Koolaid) Labs on a new LSD that he claims will initiate a new industrial revolution.