Awesome Totally Awesome - Hello 90's

Hello 90’s, Goodbye Dignity

It’s no secret that 90’s trends have made their way into streetwear fashion. While some of these trends are all that, others are enough to make Steve Urkel stay away from Laura. The latter include tiny sunglasses and dad sneakers – and not only are these fashion travesties taking the streets on their own but they’re frequently paired together for the ultimate faux pas that has somehow turned to a so haut. Grab onto your laces as we dive deeper into the confusing vortex of how these style mishaps from decades past are once again terrorizing our streets.

So first, enemy number one – tiny sunglasses. I really don’t know where to even start with these except that they are part of an evil fashion duo, the other half of which is the bug-eyed oversized sunglasses of the 2008 variety. However, at least those actually served their purpose, you know covering your eyes and eyelid skin to protect them from the harmful effects of the sun. Tiny sunglasses, on the other hand, barely cover the actual eyeball and are usually worn half way down the nose for some reason, providing zero relief from glare of protection. What reason that might be is beyond my comprehension. Two common perpetrators of this style atrocity are Bella Hadid and Kylie Jenner. See Exhibits A and B:

Awesome Totally Awesome - Hello 90's
Awesome Totally Awesome - Hello 90's

And don’t even get me started on the complete mishap that is Bella’s entire outfit. However, possibly more concerning is the number of people who liked these looks.

So, we all know what dad sneakers are – I’m pretty sure if your dad is over the age of 45, he owns some awkwardly shaped, white tennis shoes that he’ll probably be wearing everywhere except for the gym. Sure, this look may work for Barack Obama’s leisure look – he’s been spotted rocking them for years and honestly, I’m not hating it, he really can do no wrong. Even if he used excessive amounts of spray tan – oh wait, never mind, someone’s already got that look covered and it isn’t pretty. While Barack can definitely still get it, Reebok®’s or not, dad sneakers don’t exactly scream hot babe. At least that’s what you’d think. These aren’t even like the slim-fit, cute converse we’ve all been wearing for decades, but instead, they’re usually chunky with ugly color-combinations that stick out from the rest of the outfit like a sore thumb. And, to top it off, this isn’t even some short-lived, celebrity trend, this is hitting the streets in full force. There are thousands and thousands of posts that come up when you search for dad sneakers on Instagram. This is literally like in Mean Girls (don’t roll your eyes, I know you’ve all seen at least once, or 10 times), when Janis cuts holes in Regina’s tank top and every girl does it instantly, even though they all look like idiots.

Awesome Totally Awesome - Hello 90's
Awesome Totally Awesome - Hello 90's

And just to make sure you all are as traumatized as I am, here is the unholy grail/demon spawn of these two looks. (*Proceed with caution, this image is not recommended for those who are sensitive to offensive imagery.)

Awesome Totally Awesome - Hello 90's

As the wise Randy Jackson once, well maybe thousands of times, said, “It’s a no from me dawg”, on both of these trends.

*Ed’s Note: DM me if you want to get rid of those fire…errrr ugly ass Mauve 700’s.

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