Awesome Totally Awesome - What The Buckle

What the Buckle

Sometime around spring this year, my guy friends were passing around their phone looking at a shoe design that was about to drop. I took a quick glance and was perturbed. (And of course now I can’t find the image regardless how unique my Google Searches are.) I think they were Jordans? (VIII’s)  But honestly you could show me a whole line up of Jordans and I’d be like “Oh cool, so…basketball shoes?”

Full disclosure men’s shoes are as confusing to me as women’s shoes are confusing to men. Is the playing field leveled now?  To give an examples, when you say “loafer” I simultaneously think of a foot putting on a banana peel and just a cartoon loaf of bread. My mind, it is something else.

Regardless, I was upset by this picture because there was a fat, matte, plastic, black buckle designed into the shoe. Those buckles that no matter how old you are, can pinch your fingers if you’re not looking. Those buckles that are more for utility on a dog’s collar than to hold your two year old in a car seat. Those pieces of shit. (Am I talking about the buckle or the kid?)

I saw the picture and thought of the story of The Emperor’s New Clothes. Selling garbage at high rates and calling it high fashion, how silly men are when it comes to shoes, I thought. Until…

I was scrolling through Instagram—as I do for five hours every day and then complain that there’s not enough time for me to be productive and apologize to everyone I haven’t texted back promptly—and then I saw it. One of the bikini boutiques I followed posted looks from a fashion show featuring Frankie’s Bikinis. And the atrocity stared in my face and laughed.

Awesome Totally Awesome - What The Buckle

Buckles

Why?!

Why had my most favorite thing in the world (bikinis—I love them!) been tarnished by these plastic clips that are designed to keep children from getting out, and yet children always can figure them out.

What did this add to the bikini? Do the designers think, “Hey, you know what’s really sexy? Rolling around on the sand making out with your summer fling with washboard abs then he reaches to pinch off your bikini.”

PINCH?! Also, with those plastic death traps so close to skin, there is no doubt people will get pinched upon getting into the bikini and getting out of it! Someone is going to get hurt.

And it wasn’t just that one piece…

Buckles, buckles, everywhere! WHY?!   And who was the creative director that said, “you know what pairs really well with buckles? Construction safety glasses, but those are too abrasive for our vibe so put on these 8th grade science class goggles that don’t actually protect you from highly acidic solutions.”

I know that since this line came out, I have seen buckles pop up more and more in fashion, but I choose to ignore them. If you feel personally attacked, please join me and print this article and plaster it all over your office space in defiance. Thank you.

Awesome Totally Awesome - Freaks & Weirdos Boutique
ATA - DTK

Awesome Dropping

Awesome Totally Awesome Wish You Were Here

Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here: Absence & Disillusionment

Suffice it to say, the making of Wish You Were Here was a time of uneasiness for Pink Floyd.
Awesome Totally Awesome - For Those About To Rock Brian Johnson

AC/DC's Most Underrated Songs with Brian Johnson

It's not the hits we are looking at but the five of the most underrated tracks during the Johnson era featuring his distinct bluesy, raspy vocal style.
Awesome Totally Awesome - The Cool

ATA's Music, Gaming, and Entertainment Writer Sam Woods-Corr's Desert Island Album: Lupe Fiasco's, The Cool

Lupe Fiasco was my savior and The Cool was my Bible. He perfectly articulated the struggles of the black community.

Awesome Features

Awesome Totally Awesome - Hip hop woke hoax
Awesome Totally Awesome - Scientology

Hanging With The Brainwashers: ATA Goes Undercover With The Church of Scientology

It was a rainy day in Sydney, Australia when I was walking down a sidewalk with my Finnish friend Isabella, when I saw a nice enough looking woman handing out some kind of paper to passersby.
Awesome Totally Awesome - Biker Shorts

Biker Shorts: The Athleisure Trend That Needs to Stop

It’s not news that biker shorts have been a thing this year. While it was nothing short of an atrocity from the get-go, there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight.

Awesome Trending

Awesome Totally Awesome - Class of Seventy-Four

The 10 Presents: Wrestling's Doper

Class of Seventy Four loves wrestling...end quote. Despite the negative stigmatism attached to grown men watching a sport some have called a "soap opera", it still is probably the one thing in our creative process that excites us.

Five Most Underrated Van Halen Songs with David Lee Roth

With David Lee Roth on vocals, the original Van Halen produced six phenomenal albums from 1978-1984.
Awesome Totally Awesome - The 10 Presents Wrestling Tag Teams

The 10: Wrestling Tag Teams

When you think of wrestling, it's usually thoughts of an individual sport. But. Tag team wrestling has just as much to do with wrestling and history as any one wrestler.