UBER CHRONICLES: CONVERSATION WITH AN ODDLY INTRUSIVE UBER DRIVER WITH A RUSSIAN ACCENT

Uber Driver: “So, do you live in Rogers Park?”

Me: “No.”

Uber Driver: “Where do you live?”

Me: “I live in Lakeview, but I might be moving to Rogers Park.”

Uber Driver: “Why would you want to move to Rogers Park?”

Me: “I found a place with more space for less money.”

Uber Driver: “What do you need space for?”

Me: “It would be nice to have some more room to spread out in, especially when I do my work.”

Uber Driver: “What kind of work do you do?”

Me: “I am a college professor.”

Uber Driver “Oh yeah, what do you teach?”

Me: “I teach college writing.”

Uber Driver: “I don’t understand how you would be able to teach college writing if you can’t read?”

Slams on break to avoid hitting a pedestrian.

Uber driver: “That guy just walked out in front of me! So, I still don’t understand how you can do your job.”

Me: “I use a combination of technology and volunteer people to help.”

Uber Driver: “How long have you been doing that?”

Me: “About 14 years.”

Uber Driver: “Well you couldn’t have been using technology 14 years ago.”

Me: “Yeah, I used a lot more volunteer help back then.”

Uber Driver “I still don’t understand why you would need more room. Do you have kids or something?”

Me: “Yes.”

Uber Driver: “How many do you have?”

Me: “I have three.”

Uber Driver: “How old?”

Me: “Nine, seven, and four.”

“Uber Driver: “Oh, you are a superman! Are you married?”

Me: “No, I’m divorced.”

Silence.

Uber Driver: “Can I ask why you got divorced?”

Me: “It’s kind of like a death by 1000 paper cuts or something.”

Uber Driver: “Well, your wife must’ve loved you for a long time if she had that many kids with you.”

Silence.

Uber Driver: “Where were you born?”

Me: “Harvey.”

Uber Driver: “I didn’t realize college professors could be born in Harvey.”

Silence.

Uber Driver: “Did you grow up in Harvey?”

Me: “No I grew up in Cal city.”

Uber Driver: “Did you like growing up in Calumet city?”

Me: “Yes.”

Uber Driver: “Was it a nice area?”

Me: “Yes, but it’s had some hard times economically recently.”

Uber Driver: “I’ve lived in this area 43 years; it was never a nice area.”

Silence.

Uber Driver: “You’re a very remarkable person.”

Silence.

Uber Driver: “Isn’t Rogers Park a much worse area to live in than Lake View?”

Me: “I don’t think so.”

Uber Driver: “Which building is yours?”

Me: “The one with a parking lot in front of it.”

Uber Driver: “How do you know that it has a parking lot in front of it if you can’t see?”

Me: “I live here.”

Uber Driver: “I’m going to pull up in the driveway, because you are very important person.”

Awesome Totally Awesome - Freaks & Weirdos Boutique
ATA - DTK

Awesome Dropping

Awesome Totally Awesome

Fallout Gamers Already Planning Sick Days, Family Emergencies, Vacation Time, and Any Excuse to Work Remotely in Anticipation of Fallout 76 Release this November

Eileen, a luck 10 has plans to “Just wing it and miss three weeks of work.  I’ll cross my fingers and toes and hope I have a job whenever, I decide to return.”
Awesome Totally Awesome - Overproduced Music

Over Produced Music: What Are We Doing?

A couple of weeks ago, I put on a trendy outfit before going to a Lily Allen concert here in Hollywood.  She’s been my favorite artist since her debut album, Alright, Still floated across the pond in 2006, so I was very excited.
Awesome Totally Awesome - Todd does Lyft

Todd Gets a Job With Lyft

Todd sits in his car, anxiously tapping his fingers on his steering wheel in a rhythmic pattern as he waits for his passenger. He looks at his lit LYFT mustache on his dashboard, humming silently. “Okay, okay,” Todd thinks to himself, “let’s not screw this up.”

Awesome Features

Why Phil Kessel Is Awesome (And Why You Should Think So Too)

Phil Kessel beat cancer during his rookie season and went on to become a five time thirty goal scorer and two time Stanley Cup Champion on his own terms.  In spite of being one of the most prolific goal scorers of his generation, Phil has been oft maligned, bullied, and minimized by the press, the fans, the NHL, and even his peers.
Awesome Totally Awesome Wickenheiser

Maple Leafs Move With the Times in Hiring Wickenheiser The GOAT of Women's Hockey

The Toronto Maple Leafs announced that they hired Canadian Olympian and gold medalist Hayley Wickenheiser as Assistant Director of Player Development on Thursday August 23, 2018.
Awesome Totally Awesome - Supreme Box Hoodie Legit Check 101Four-Pins

Legit Check 101 Supreme: Box Logo Hoodies

The Supreme Box Logo (“BOGO”) Hoodie is one of the most iconic and sought Supreme pieces year in and year out. We’re here to provide you with a basic checklist that should apply to any BOGO Hoodie within the past 10 years.

Awesome Trending

Awesome Totally Awesome - Scientology

Hanging With The Brainwashers: ATA Goes Undercover With The Church of Scientology

It was a rainy day in Sydney, Australia when I was walking down a sidewalk with my Finnish friend Isabella, when I saw a nice enough looking woman handing out some kind of paper to passersby.

Five Most Underrated Van Halen Songs with David Lee Roth

With David Lee Roth on vocals, the original Van Halen produced six phenomenal albums from 1978-1984.
Awesome Totally Awesome Bono

“There Is A God,” Claim Millions of Atheists After Hearing the News That Bono Lost His Voice

Upon the news that Bono completely lost his voice, partway through U2’s performance in Berlin Saturday, atheists around the world began to seriously question their worldview.