UBER CHRONICLES: CONVERSATION WITH AN ODDLY INTRUSIVE UBER DRIVER WITH A RUSSIAN ACCENT
Uber Driver: “So, do you live in Rogers Park?”
Me: “No.”
Uber Driver: “Where do you live?”
Me: “I live in Lakeview, but I might be moving to Rogers Park.”
Uber Driver: “Why would you want to move to Rogers Park?”
Me: “I found a place with more space for less money.”
Uber Driver: “What do you need space for?”
Me: “It would be nice to have some more room to spread out in, especially when I do my work.”
Uber Driver: “What kind of work do you do?”
Me: “I am a college professor.”
Uber Driver “Oh yeah, what do you teach?”
Me: “I teach college writing.”
Uber Driver: “I don’t understand how you would be able to teach college writing if you can’t read?”
Slams on break to avoid hitting a pedestrian.
Uber driver: “That guy just walked out in front of me! So, I still don’t understand how you can do your job.”
Me: “I use a combination of technology and volunteer people to help.”
Uber Driver: “How long have you been doing that?”
Me: “About 14 years.”
Uber Driver: “Well you couldn’t have been using technology 14 years ago.”
Me: “Yeah, I used a lot more volunteer help back then.”
Uber Driver “I still don’t understand why you would need more room. Do you have kids or something?”
Me: “Yes.”
Uber Driver: “How many do you have?”
Me: “I have three.”
Uber Driver: “How old?”
Me: “Nine, seven, and four.”
“Uber Driver: “Oh, you are a superman! Are you married?”
Me: “No, I’m divorced.”
Silence.
Uber Driver: “Can I ask why you got divorced?”
Me: “It’s kind of like a death by 1000 paper cuts or something.”
Uber Driver: “Well, your wife must’ve loved you for a long time if she had that many kids with you.”
Silence.
Uber Driver: “Where were you born?”
Me: “Harvey.”
Uber Driver: “I didn’t realize college professors could be born in Harvey.”
Silence.
Uber Driver: “Did you grow up in Harvey?”
Me: “No I grew up in Cal city.”
Uber Driver: “Did you like growing up in Calumet city?”
Me: “Yes.”
Uber Driver: “Was it a nice area?”
Me: “Yes, but it’s had some hard times economically recently.”
Uber Driver: “I’ve lived in this area 43 years; it was never a nice area.”
Silence.
Uber Driver: “You’re a very remarkable person.”
Silence.
Uber Driver: “Isn’t Rogers Park a much worse area to live in than Lake View?”
Me: “I don’t think so.”
Uber Driver: “Which building is yours?”
Me: “The one with a parking lot in front of it.”
Uber Driver: “How do you know that it has a parking lot in front of it if you can’t see?”
Me: “I live here.”
Uber Driver: “I’m going to pull up in the driveway, because you are very important person.”