UBER CHRONICLES: JESUS RIDES BESIDE ME

Today I had an Uber driver name Jesus.

The first few times I tried to call him, it went straight to voicemail.

Jesus didn’t answer his calls.

Eventually he picked up and answered, but I couldn’t understand him very well, and he couldn’t understand me, so Jesus and I weren’t relating to each other.

I went out into the cold, and ran into a lady on the street who offered to help me find Jesus.

I asked Jesus what kind of car he was in; he said, “A white one.”

“Of course,” I thought, “What other kind of car would Jesus drive?”

Eventually, the lady helped me find his car, and I thanked her for leading me to Jesus.

I sat beside Jesus as we drove through the city. We didn’t talk much, but eventually he stopped the car and told me this is where I get out.

Apparently, the GPS wasn’t working very well for Jesus. It never does downtown in the Loop with all the tall buildings.

But Jesus didn’t ask me where I was going; instead, he just told me to get out and go left.

It turns out that Jesus dropped me off about a block and a half from where I was meaning to go, so I wound up having to walk that distance in the cold, which kind of defeats the whole point of taking an Uber.

Being that it was around Christmas, though, I didn’t have the heart to give Jesus a one-star rating. I didn’t want to be put on the Naughty List.