I Replaced My Bumper: A Tale of Avoiding Trendy Plastic Surgery

The lesson was further proven when I got rear-ended about a year ago. I love my car to death and without saying exactly the make or model, (I don’t know any of you and your capabilities to stalk me) know that it has a beautiful paint job. It glows in the sun after a nice wax, but the bumper did have a few dings prior to the accident. After getting tapped and receiving a bit of new damage, I decided to take the car in to have all the marks buffed out and painted over. To spare you all from reading a Yelp review, the short version is that the auto body shop pitched the idea of giving me a new bumper completely, promising it would be a better idea than just working on what existed. What was returned to me was a car with a new bumper that did not match. No glow to the paint—in fact, it literally looks paler in comparison. And I can never go back.

Some argue that due to the semi-permanent nature of injections, one could have their “old features” back in weeks. Which means that if you truly love your “new look” you still have to schedule reoccurring appointments to keep it up! Personally, I prefer my consistent and clockwork consumption of plastic to be in the form of fast food. And unlike lip plumpers, the latter does, in fact, come with free refills.

We live in a world of constant comparison to altered images. When scrolling through photos of everyone’s best life, we sometimes lose sight of how deliberate every image is. When we mindlessly double tap we forget how much silicone has been added and then slightly altered yet again through a “face tuning” app just for one photo. Our subconscious keeps track of these “perfect” faces & bodies and slowly weaken us to the point of purchasing a Groupon on ass implants with free lash extensions when the deal pops up in our feeds. But we must remember that just like the collagen we pump into ourselves, trends fade at varying rates.